He is in front of Jun’s door, his right hand clutching the Beautiful World dvd. He is wearing the same clothes the first time they had kissed in that bar in what seems a long time ago but actually isn’t. Maybe two months or three, he wonders. He is going to get scolded by Yunho and his management but he doesn’t care right now.
He checks his watch. It’s a little bit past 9pm and Jun should be home.
He rings the doorbell. Nothing and then he hears the footstep and the door is opening. Jun just stares at him but makes no move to let him enter.
‘Who is it?’
Changmin looks over Jun’s shoulder and it’s Ninomiya, who is slowly walking towards them.
‘Oh. You.’ Changmin doesn’t like the way Ninomiya addresses him nor does he like his piercing gaze. He can’t help but fidget.
Jun turns his gaze towards Nino. ‘Don’t—‘
‘Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Do what you want.’ Ninomiya shrugs. ‘Should I leave?’
Jun looks back at Changmin, and Changmin can see the contained tension in the tightness of his posture.
‘Should he leave?’
Changmin swallows; his mouth feels so parched.
‘I really need to tell you something.’
Changmin can see how Jun and Ninomiya exchange a look before Ninomiya sighs.
‘If this goes wrong…’ Jun shots him a dark look. ‘I’m leaving, geez.’
He quickly takes his jacket and puts his shoes on. On his way out, he brushes past Changmin, a tad too forcefully, and Changmin has to take a step back.
‘Nino!’
‘Oops. My bad.’
His tone is too cheerful to be sincere but he still bows his head to Changmin. As he lifts it, Changmin sees he is smirking.
‘Well, see you later perhaps.’
He leaves and then Changmin finally enters. He follows Jun quietly to the living room. There’s food on the coffee table, some pasta, and two beers.
Jun stands in front of the tv, his arms crossed. It doesn’t look like he is going to make this any easier for Changmin. He may as well be comfortable, Changmin thinks. He takes his time removing his coat to lay it against the back of the couch, trying to calm himself, but his heart is still hammering in his chest. He sits down on the couch and slides the dvd on the table.
‘I took it without asking so…’
‘I noticed.’
Perhaps Jun can see his nervousness and has taken pity on him or not, but he uncrosses him arms from over his chest and sits down on the floor, legs crossed, next to the coffee table, opposite to him.
Changmin bites his lower lip and slowly releases it, dragging his teeth on his skin.
‘Someone made me realize something and…’
He doesn’t know how to go on but Jun scoffs before he can add anything else.
‘I can see you were busy’ Jun says and he is staring at his collarbone. Changmin’s hand flies to his neck, where there is probably a bruise.
‘That’s…’
Jun looks away.
‘I don’t care. You are free to do whatever you want.’ But he is frowning and his tone is icier than the ice age itself.
‘Jun. ‘
His tone must have been desperate enough because Jun looks back at him again. He’d better use this chance then. He wets his lips, passes his tongue over his sore lip, before speaking.
‘I am sorry.’
Jun’s eyes widen and it’s probably not what he was expecting at all. Maybe he can still fix this.
‘You know, for pushing you away or… if you felt used.’ He is looking right at Jun. ‘I didn’t know what I wanted but now I know.‘
‘What do you want?’ Jun’s voice is hoarse.
Changmin is twisting his hands on his lap. Until now he had been too busy thinking about how to make Jun listen, but now… what if he has misread Jun… He looks up at him, pleadingly. Jun hesitates for a few seconds before he sighs and comes to sit next to him. He puts his hands on top of Changmin’s to still them.
‘I want you,’ Changmin says and he has to take a deep breath before continuing. ‘But…’
‘But?’
Changmin feels Jun’s hands tense on his, ready to withdraw at any moment. He looks down, and closes his eyes tightly.
‘It’s more than that… I think I like you.’
Jun’s hands grip his and Changmin breathes stops. Then he is pulled to the side, to Jun’s chest and two arms wraps themselves around him, and he can feel Jun’s heartbeat against his cheek.
Jun’s hand is in his hair, ruffling it, and it’s nearly painful so Changmin protests —eh!— and tries to sit up but his face is so close to Jun’s and he stops. Jun leans down and Changmin can feel his breath on his face.
‘l like you too stupid', and he is smiling against his lips. Changmin is smiling back so hard it hurts so the kiss they share is mostly awkward and sloppy but it’s ten times better than all the other kisses they shared before.
Changmin thinks he is probably really gone stupid this time but he can’t bring himself to care when he has Jun in his arms. Wait. He is in Jun’s arms but that’s pretty much the same thing as long someone is in the other’s arms and so he snuggles and hugs Jun back and it’s better when they are both in each other’s arms. Jun’s arms tighten around him. Changmin sighs contentedly.
After a few minutes, though, his back is starting to ache from the posture and he wriggles a bit.
‘Are you uncomfortable?’
‘I’m fine,’ because he doesn’t want to let go.
‘Come on. If you let me go for a few seconds…’
Jun pushes him away and Changmin unwillingly lets him. Jun swings his legs onto the couch and Changmin moves to lie on his stomach, between Jun’s legs. Jun is drawing circle on his nape with his fingertips, and they kiss, slow and lazy.
Soon the kisses grow more heated and one of Jun’s hand slips under his shirt, his fingers running lightly on Changmin’s skin. He can feel Jun growing hard underneath him but the caresses are soothing and Changmin is sleepy and warm and doesn’t really want to move.
When Changmin shifts and bit and Jun moans in his mouth, however, Changmin figures he could do a little effort to make up for his earlier mistakes. He undulates lightly against Jun, and Jun’s next moan breaks the kiss. Changmin smiles against his lips, and does it again until Jun is grinding against him, his head thrown back against the couch, his eyes closed.
Changmin tears himself away from Jun’s warm body. Jun groans in protest and try to follow him up but Changmin pushes him back down with a hand, and straddles him so he can balance himself over him. He unbuttons Jun’s slacks, sneaking a hand inside, and teases Jun a bit by stroking him on top of his boxers. Jun pushes against him, his hands clinging to Changmin’s shirt.
‘Changmin… I need…’
Changmin takes pity on Jun and makes him lift his lips so he can slide both the slacks and the boxers down his knees. His hand goes back to Jun’s cock and he palms the tip, before he fists it, slowly sliding his hand down and then up and down again, slick with pre-come. Jun’s hips jerk up to quicken the pace so Changmin presses his other hand against Jun’s right hip bone to hold him down.
Jun moans again and Changmin is glad that he is tall enough to reach for Jun’s mouth without having to stop his strokes. Jun enthusiastically responds to the kiss, open and wet, his hands moving to hold Changmin’s head still. Then Changmin intensifies the rhythm, and Jun’s gasping and coming in his hand.
Changmin breaks the kiss because he wants to watch Jun’s face. He is gorgeous, gleaming with sweat, black hair curling around his face, his eyes closed and his mouth opened soundlessly in a small o.
Jun slumps into the couch with a content sigh. Changmin just wants to fall back in the warm embrace as quickly as possible. He wipes his hand on his sweater but, at Jun’s noise of disgust, he finally takes it off and throws it on the floor. Jun’s eyes are slightly opened and his warm gaze slowly moves up from his now naked chest to look into Changmin’s eyes.
‘Do you—‘
‘It’s fine.’
Jun is going to insist further but Changmin really doesn’t need anything so he helps Jun back into his boxers and his slacks. Jun’s arms are reaching for him again but Changmin stops him with a pout.
‘Your t-shirt is scratchy.’
Jun chuckles but consents in rising a bit so Changmin can help him get rid of the offending fabric. For a moment, Changmin is reminded of the Jun he saw on the screen, happy and awkward and fragile in his first-button-buttoned shirt, and his heart squeezes. Something must show on his face because Jun asks him if something is wrong. He smiles and drops a kiss on the top of Jun’s beauty mark on his upper lip, and finally relaxes in the embrace, snuggling in the crook of Jun’s neck.
‘I’m happy’ he whispers against his skin.
Changmin feels like he can do anything and everything now; if he has to convince Yunho and their manager, or the world, to protect that warm feeling, well, it’s worth it.
the end.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2012-08-15 06:09 pm (UTC)i love you ♥
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Date: 2012-08-15 06:55 pm (UTC)I love you too ♥ (and I really wish more people could read French so they could read your writing.)
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Date: 2012-08-15 06:59 pm (UTC)and sex. and the emotions. why are you so good with the emotions? it's like a slap in the reader's face but in a very good way. i can't find the words but it is gorgeous and you're awesome.(aww it's okay though. i'm happy i can write and share with you :) )
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Date: 2012-08-15 07:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-15 08:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-16 08:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-08-16 12:07 am (UTC)I love how you portray them all in it. My Arashi ship is Matsumiya and ChangMin can sometimes remind me a little of Nino, so I find this perfect. Probably would have been no matter what.
I like that people don't just accept them, because that wouldn't be the real case and it just really seems realistic and I love that.
It's awesome and perfect and I liked reading it XD (Though I must admit I skipped a pair of smut scenes.. Or skimmed them)
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Date: 2012-08-16 08:44 am (UTC)I'm glad I got the characterisation. Weirdly, my Arashi ships are Yama pair and Sakumoto (prob because I'm a bit Sho-biased) but I really like Nino and ooh... Arashi >_<. Thanks. :)
I tried to make it a bit on the realistic side so I'm happy if you think I did. :D
Thank you for reading and commenting! :D (It's ok; I got a bit enthusiastic with them. err... xD)
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Date: 2012-08-16 12:11 am (UTC)My dream is for an arashi vs dbsk (5 members) on that show!!
Kyuuuu....
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Date: 2012-08-16 08:46 am (UTC)I doubt the five members will be on it together but I still have my fingers crossed for Changmin's film promotion (which I also doubt will happen but... >_<).
Thanks for reading and commenting. :)
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Date: 2012-08-16 12:27 am (UTC)love the random pairings in this, i've been wanting to see a dbsk/arashi fic for while now and u just made my dream comes true T.T
tbh, i'm not a follower of jpop but somehow i had a faint interest in arashi so i knew all their members and have watched few of their variety shows (one of them is vs arashi so i knew all the games u mentioned lol and i can't stop giggling cuz i can easily imagine awkward!changmin without yunho with him in the show xD)
now back to the plot, i'm kinda curious as to why u pick changmin for it
is it bc he's simply your bias /shotbecause somehow i think yunho would be more likely to fit the angsty-ghei-secret-affair role, i just can't see him being homophobicmaybe changminlol. angry and worried for their career? yes. but actually being homophobic? i'm not too sure bout that.anyway, i also loove the interactions between arashi members in this! your description on the members; ohno's perking up at the mention of fishing, sho's general fail at
lifegames, and nino's being all catty-glare protective♥oh do i wish for more flawless arashi/dbsk fics like this ;A; /prays
thanks and bless you for writing this!
and sorry for the long, awkward incomprehensible comment /A\no subject
Date: 2012-08-16 08:59 am (UTC)I've wanted to read a dbsk/arashi fic for a while too but I got tired of writing... and that's what this fic is. xD
Oh! (Yeah... awkward!changmin without yunho to make fun of/hide behind/talk for him. Thank god he wasn't alone and Tsumabuki was there to hide behind. xD)
Aside that he is indeed my bias and that I write him way better than Yunho (though I like Yunho a lot too!), it's because Changmin, in my mind, is the type to complicate things by not know what to do/shy/hesitating/taking one step forward three steps back while Yunho would, indeed, angst but it would way more straightforward with him. He is the type of person who go for what he wants and pushes through for what he wants. I actually think that both might have prejudices against homosexuality. Like: if it's other people it might be ok but if it's themselves or someone they love... mmm... (which is how some friends of mine are xDD Abstract homosexuality is ok but actual homosexuality, not so much.) But they might not be, of course.
Hehehe, I'm glad you do! Ohno without fishing isn't Ohno and Sho... ahhh.. Sho (if you havent seen it, you should watch the VS Arashi in which Sho participates as a guest with his drama Nazotoki and fails... he fails in everything, literally, and the others are dying of laughter. xDD). Nino likes his members safe. ♥
You're welcome! And thank you for your long comment. Long comments are the best. <3 (I'm sorry too... I wrote a long comment back. I got excited.)
Thanks for the gifts! (I miss dksbk5... and Troublemaker, yey!)
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Date: 2012-08-16 05:14 am (UTC)There should be a comma between too and stupid. Also awwwww.. :D
He is in Jun’s arms but that’s pretty much the same thing as long someone is in the other’s arms and so he snuggles and hugs Jun back and it’s better when they are both in each other’s arms.
/rolls around in fluffy feels.
Changmin sighs contently.
contentedly
and they kiss slow and lazy.
slowly and lazily?
Jun chuckles but consent
consents
Although this isn't your usual writing style, I really liked it! :D It was a nice touch to have Changmin sleep with mystery lady as he struggled with his feelings about Jun/possibly being gay. I like how Yunho was protective of Changmin (even if he was a bit of a jerk), just the way he was wanted to protect his dongsaeng, and how he was affected by societal stigmas against homosexuality. And the ending.... It was so fluffy and cute. I loved it. Especially how Changmin acknowledges that they may not be accepted by society/friends, but he was going to fight for them anyways. <3
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Date: 2012-08-16 08:36 am (UTC)slowly and lazily?
and they kiss, slow and lazy. (as in the kiss, (and it's) slow and lazy)
It shows I'm not used writing in the present tense with all those missing s..
Aww... Thanks! It felt really weird writing but it was a lot of fun. (I must admit I had a lot of fun when Changmin was watching the dvd and being all what is this. xD) The mystery wasn't supposed to be there at first but the Changmin in my head felt restless so they met. Yeah, Yunho is just doing what he think is right for Changmin and the group; he might really think that Jun has been corrupting his precious (and originally perfectly straight) baby. I'm glad you like the ending. <3
Thanks again, for your comments and your corrections! <3
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Date: 2012-08-16 06:24 am (UTC)but you make so irresistible because matsujun is my fave on arashi ...
i enjoy reading it ... :D
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Date: 2012-08-16 09:00 am (UTC)I hope Jun was ok in it then. :)
Thanks! :D
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Date: 2012-08-16 06:13 pm (UTC)So what I know about Arashi is from her stories and the members' dramas I saw - although I don't know how much their real personalities show over the roles they are playing...
Anyway, I really enjoyed the story despite the unusual pairing, I liked the characterization and Changmin's confusion and hesitation, how he tried to block those feelings he started to feel for Jun.
But Yunho's attitude made me so disappointed! Okay, I expected he won't be really delighted by the news because there's the chance of a huge scandal (with high possibility of their career to end - not only Changmin's but Yunho's too) when their just found themselves again after the separation from JYJ, but still the way he reacted and also how he treated Changmin later made me sad.
But even with Yunho being intolerant instead of helping Changmin to make the right decision I'm so glad Changmin confessed at the end and Jun had enough patience to wait for him till he decides!
Thank you for the wonderful story, I liked it so much!
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Date: 2012-08-17 12:46 pm (UTC)Mmm... I don't think their roles reflect much of their personalities though. :)
Thanks! Yunho still likes Changmin but I don't think homosexuality is easily accepted, yet, in Japan or Korea so that's why Yunho isn't really supportive. :/ Sorry though?
Hehehe. :D
Thank you for reading and commenting. <3
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Date: 2012-08-20 06:01 pm (UTC)‘I want you,’ Changmin says and he has to take a deep breath before continuing. ‘But…’
‘But?’
Changmin feels Jun’s hands tense on his, ready to withdraw at any moment. He looks down, and closes his eyes tightly.
‘It’s more than that… I think I like you.’
Jun’s hands grip his and Changmin breathes stops. Then he is pulled to the side, to Jun’s chest and two arms wraps themselves around him, and he can feel Jun’s heartbeat against his cheek.
Jun’s hand is in his hair, ruffling it, and it’s nearly painful so Changmin protests —eh!— and tries to sit up but his face is so close to Jun’s and he stops. Jun leans down and Changmin can feel his breath on his face.
‘l like you too stupid', and he is smiling against his lips. Changmin is smiling back so hard it hurts so the kiss they share is mostly awkward and sloppy but it’s ten times better than all the other kisses they shared before.
^ READING THAT AND I'M JUST LIKE:
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Date: 2012-08-20 08:21 pm (UTC)I was the most worried about the ending (I didn't want to make it too sweet but it had also to be conclusive and satisfying.. ahh.. endiiiings >.<) so I'm really happy you quoted it. :)
(YEY I got a Troy gif! :D)
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Date: 2012-10-13 10:51 pm (UTC)j'ai vu jun dans un drame, avant j'ai su dbsk, et j l'ai aimé bien, haha. alors, maintenant, avec jun et changmin, ils sont un bon couple! et ton écriture est très beau, comme toujours!
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Date: 2012-10-14 02:49 pm (UTC)