(JaeMin) A walk down memory lane (9/11)
Sep. 1st, 2007 09:44 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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nuagedeauA walk down memory lane (9/11)
jaemin
PG
angst, fluff
1516 words (total: 11'332)
thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sharkbait_ha, who corrected my mistakes. &hearts
Memory is a tricky thing. Love is too.
parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11.
Note: It's not the definitive version asliang_xing_xing was too busy to point out my mistakes. But as I am leaving Monday and don't know when I will have internet access, I am posting it now.
The morning after
You know you love someone when you want them to be happy, even if their happiness means that you aren't part of it.
~unknown
"-shouldn't we-"
"-fever, I think-"
"-hyung, you stay-"
Your eyes fluttered open at the sound of voices discussing. Your headache had worsened and you felt dizzy as you sat up. You looked behind the couch and saw the four of them standing in the corridor leading to the front door. You could only see Yunho's perplexed expression.
"Ah! Changmin, you're awake," he said, when your gazes met. You began to nod but stopped when you noticed it didn't help your pounding head. You cleared your throat, wincing a little at its soreness, before asking: "What are you doing in the hallway?"
The others turned to face you, except for Jaejoong, who was staring at his feet. Yoochun passed an arm around his shoulders and responded to your question.
"Nothing. We were just going to leave. Jaejoong will stay with you," and with that he pushed Jaejoong towards you and pulled a confused Junsu with him as he reached for the front door, "you coming Yunho?"
"But where to?"
Yoochun frowned, "where we said we would go yesterday, remember?"
"Did we? I thought..."
Yoochun interrupted him, stepping on his left foot, "I know, I said I didn't want to go there but you insisted so much that I had to change of opinion," he then winked at Jaejoong, "have fun. We'll see you later."
And they were gone. Leaving you and Jaejoong in a uncomfortable silence.
"So...," you both said at the same time and Jaejoong followed, "ah, go on, Min."
"Err... Nothing really," you paused to find something to say, "has Yoochun hyung always been this discreet?"
Jaejoong let escape a little laugh, covering his mouth. Then there was another silence and, "how are you feeling? You should lie down again."
You did just that, noticing the white blanket covering your legs. You pulled it up so you wouldn't have to answer, and closed your eyes. A cool hand made you open them almost immediately, focusing on Jaejoong's worried face.
"You are too warm."
You closed your eyes again as the hand left your forehead, and began pushing your hair out of your face.
"Why did Yoochun want to leave us alone?"
The hand froze and your eyes searched for Jaejoong's fleeing ones.
"Aren't you hungry? You should eat something to regain strength," and he fled to the kitchen. You sighed and let yourself fall in a sleepy state. You had wanted to hear Jaejoong telling you all about your relationship but you were too afraid to plainly ask -- you had the impression he would lie anyway -- and felt too tired to probe until he broke.
Jaejoong came back holding a tray where sat a smoking bowl of soup. He put it down on the coffee table and you scooted away from the edge of the couch so he could sit next to you. Feeling his back against your side reminded you of the kiss he had given you when he thought you asleep. You felt your stomach knot itself.
"Can you sit up? It would be easier to eat."
"I'm not really hungry," but your weak protest didn't stop Jaejoong to help yourself up. He made you turn so you would be half leaning against his chest, half against the couch, an arm around your shoulders, nearly sitting on his lap. He stretched his arms to reach for the bowl and a spoon. You let your head fall against the back of the couch, trying to lean more on it than on Jaejoong.
"Not hungry," you mumbled.
"If I had a free hand I would poke and tickle you so you would stop being grumpy."
"Still not hungry," and you felt dizzy anyway.
"Come on. Don't be stubborn or I'll be obliged to feed you like a baby."
You frowned, hiding your face against the couch, the fabric muffling your words, "not a baby."
Jaejoong nudged you with his shoulder, "so be a man and open your mouth."
You turned your head to glare at him and to argue with him but he cut you short by sticking the spoon in your mouth. You swallowed, your throat prickled and you glared at Jaejoong anyway. He stuck his tongue at you.
"Got you," he dived the spoon in the bowl again and lifted it up to your mouth, "say ahh... Here comes the airplane!"
You sighed and opened your mouth. The taste wasn't bad -- tomato flavoured -- and seeing Jaejoong's victorious smile made your headache become lighter. A few spoonfuls later, Jaejoong stopped feeding you and you realised that you were half asleep; your head resting on his shoulder. He put the bowl back on the table and helped you lie down, arranging the pillows and the blanket. Once he was done and you were comfortably installed, he tried to move away but your hand flew to his wrist and you pulled him back to you, making him lie next to you. A bitter-sweet smile appeared on his lips before he kissed you on your forehead.
"You are a baby."
You tightened your hold on him, "I'm just momentarily ill."
Jaejoong sighed, "you are," and you felt those words didn't only refer to your cold.
Your feelings were a mess; you felt happy, sad, tired and lost yet determined at the same time and you didn't know how to begin to sort them out. Though you knew one thing, you felt more happy than sad and more determined than lost when Jaejoong was there.
-----
You woke up alone and feeling better. A look at the window showed you it was late and with the help of the crutches, you got up, needing to go to the bathroom. The shoes in the vestibule told you the others were back and you made a note in your mind to ask Junsu where they had gone. When you passed Yoochun and Jaejoong, you caught your name and you instinctively stopped to listen. The door was half-opened and you saw Yoochun, probably frowning at Jaejoong. You could only see his feet as he was sitting on his bed.
"I left you alone with Changmin so you could try to arrange things with him and you... What are you talking about? Giving up? I don't understand."
You felt your chest tighten and heard Jaejoong sigh.
"The accident. Perhaps all this happened because our relationship wasn't supposed to be. Like a punishment, you know."
Yoochun looked utterly surprised, "a punishment?"
There was small pause and you had to strain your ears to catch Jaejoong's whisper, "for being two men," he didn't let Yoochun respond, "perhaps... I should give up. It would be better for Changmin if... if he met a nice girl or... He has never been with a woman after all and I was the one who-"
"Jae! You know the accident isn't your fault, right? You know you didn't force Changmin, right? He wouldn't have let you anyway," he paused to take his breath while yours seemed to have stopped in your chest, "I can understand why you didn't want to tell him about your relationship but this... this... What are you talking about, dammit?! Don't you love him?!"
Jaejoong's voice wavered, "it's precisely because I love him."
Yoochun passed a hand in his hair and you stepped back, your back touching the wall behind you.
"Changmin? Are you alright?"
Yunho's worried voice startled you and you tried your best to hold back the tears threatening to spill on your cheeks. You cleared your throat.
"I'm okay."
"You sure? You still look pale. You should go lie down again."
You finally dared to look at Yunho as Yoochun opened his door, a panicked Jaejoong behind him.
"I was just going to the bathroom."
"Are we having a meeting in the hallway?" asked Junsu, as he came from behind Yunho. You looked at the floor. He pinched his lips together, "what's with this weird mood? First Yoochun this morning wanting absolutely we go to the zoo and now I am excluded of our new hallway meetings, or what?"
"I was just on my way to the bathroom," and you started going away not bothering to stop at Yoochun's calls. You locked the bathroom's door and let yourself slide against it to sit on the floor.
Your heart hurt and your hand clutched at your chest. Jaejoong thought your relationship was wrong? He didn't even try to have you back? He didn't want you back? But he had said he loved you. He had kissed you. And those strange expressions he had on his face when he looked at you. Those things had to mean something and why did it hurt so much when he said it was better to give up?
The tears fell freely from your eyes. What should you do?
A/N: So... mmm. Not too dramatic I hope? The "here comes the airplane" is fordeftonsita. Hope you like. &hearts I am liking Yoochun more and more each time and Jaejoong is being his stupid self. ^^; Next I want to write a bit of HoMin too, though I am not sure. I am also being resigned to the fact it is going slowly...
Thank you a lot for reading!
Also. Pimping![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
in_vazn.
jaemin
PG
angst, fluff
1516 words (total: 11'332)
thanks to
sharkbait_ha, who corrected my mistakes. &heartsMemory is a tricky thing. Love is too.
parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11.
Note: It's not the definitive version as
liang_xing_xing was too busy to point out my mistakes. But as I am leaving Monday and don't know when I will have internet access, I am posting it now.The morning after
You know you love someone when you want them to be happy, even if their happiness means that you aren't part of it.
~unknown
"-shouldn't we-"
"-fever, I think-"
"-hyung, you stay-"
Your eyes fluttered open at the sound of voices discussing. Your headache had worsened and you felt dizzy as you sat up. You looked behind the couch and saw the four of them standing in the corridor leading to the front door. You could only see Yunho's perplexed expression.
"Ah! Changmin, you're awake," he said, when your gazes met. You began to nod but stopped when you noticed it didn't help your pounding head. You cleared your throat, wincing a little at its soreness, before asking: "What are you doing in the hallway?"
The others turned to face you, except for Jaejoong, who was staring at his feet. Yoochun passed an arm around his shoulders and responded to your question.
"Nothing. We were just going to leave. Jaejoong will stay with you," and with that he pushed Jaejoong towards you and pulled a confused Junsu with him as he reached for the front door, "you coming Yunho?"
"But where to?"
Yoochun frowned, "where we said we would go yesterday, remember?"
"Did we? I thought..."
Yoochun interrupted him, stepping on his left foot, "I know, I said I didn't want to go there but you insisted so much that I had to change of opinion," he then winked at Jaejoong, "have fun. We'll see you later."
And they were gone. Leaving you and Jaejoong in a uncomfortable silence.
"So...," you both said at the same time and Jaejoong followed, "ah, go on, Min."
"Err... Nothing really," you paused to find something to say, "has Yoochun hyung always been this discreet?"
Jaejoong let escape a little laugh, covering his mouth. Then there was another silence and, "how are you feeling? You should lie down again."
You did just that, noticing the white blanket covering your legs. You pulled it up so you wouldn't have to answer, and closed your eyes. A cool hand made you open them almost immediately, focusing on Jaejoong's worried face.
"You are too warm."
You closed your eyes again as the hand left your forehead, and began pushing your hair out of your face.
"Why did Yoochun want to leave us alone?"
The hand froze and your eyes searched for Jaejoong's fleeing ones.
"Aren't you hungry? You should eat something to regain strength," and he fled to the kitchen. You sighed and let yourself fall in a sleepy state. You had wanted to hear Jaejoong telling you all about your relationship but you were too afraid to plainly ask -- you had the impression he would lie anyway -- and felt too tired to probe until he broke.
Jaejoong came back holding a tray where sat a smoking bowl of soup. He put it down on the coffee table and you scooted away from the edge of the couch so he could sit next to you. Feeling his back against your side reminded you of the kiss he had given you when he thought you asleep. You felt your stomach knot itself.
"Can you sit up? It would be easier to eat."
"I'm not really hungry," but your weak protest didn't stop Jaejoong to help yourself up. He made you turn so you would be half leaning against his chest, half against the couch, an arm around your shoulders, nearly sitting on his lap. He stretched his arms to reach for the bowl and a spoon. You let your head fall against the back of the couch, trying to lean more on it than on Jaejoong.
"Not hungry," you mumbled.
"If I had a free hand I would poke and tickle you so you would stop being grumpy."
"Still not hungry," and you felt dizzy anyway.
"Come on. Don't be stubborn or I'll be obliged to feed you like a baby."
You frowned, hiding your face against the couch, the fabric muffling your words, "not a baby."
Jaejoong nudged you with his shoulder, "so be a man and open your mouth."
You turned your head to glare at him and to argue with him but he cut you short by sticking the spoon in your mouth. You swallowed, your throat prickled and you glared at Jaejoong anyway. He stuck his tongue at you.
"Got you," he dived the spoon in the bowl again and lifted it up to your mouth, "say ahh... Here comes the airplane!"
You sighed and opened your mouth. The taste wasn't bad -- tomato flavoured -- and seeing Jaejoong's victorious smile made your headache become lighter. A few spoonfuls later, Jaejoong stopped feeding you and you realised that you were half asleep; your head resting on his shoulder. He put the bowl back on the table and helped you lie down, arranging the pillows and the blanket. Once he was done and you were comfortably installed, he tried to move away but your hand flew to his wrist and you pulled him back to you, making him lie next to you. A bitter-sweet smile appeared on his lips before he kissed you on your forehead.
"You are a baby."
You tightened your hold on him, "I'm just momentarily ill."
Jaejoong sighed, "you are," and you felt those words didn't only refer to your cold.
Your feelings were a mess; you felt happy, sad, tired and lost yet determined at the same time and you didn't know how to begin to sort them out. Though you knew one thing, you felt more happy than sad and more determined than lost when Jaejoong was there.
-----
You woke up alone and feeling better. A look at the window showed you it was late and with the help of the crutches, you got up, needing to go to the bathroom. The shoes in the vestibule told you the others were back and you made a note in your mind to ask Junsu where they had gone. When you passed Yoochun and Jaejoong, you caught your name and you instinctively stopped to listen. The door was half-opened and you saw Yoochun, probably frowning at Jaejoong. You could only see his feet as he was sitting on his bed.
"I left you alone with Changmin so you could try to arrange things with him and you... What are you talking about? Giving up? I don't understand."
You felt your chest tighten and heard Jaejoong sigh.
"The accident. Perhaps all this happened because our relationship wasn't supposed to be. Like a punishment, you know."
Yoochun looked utterly surprised, "a punishment?"
There was small pause and you had to strain your ears to catch Jaejoong's whisper, "for being two men," he didn't let Yoochun respond, "perhaps... I should give up. It would be better for Changmin if... if he met a nice girl or... He has never been with a woman after all and I was the one who-"
"Jae! You know the accident isn't your fault, right? You know you didn't force Changmin, right? He wouldn't have let you anyway," he paused to take his breath while yours seemed to have stopped in your chest, "I can understand why you didn't want to tell him about your relationship but this... this... What are you talking about, dammit?! Don't you love him?!"
Jaejoong's voice wavered, "it's precisely because I love him."
Yoochun passed a hand in his hair and you stepped back, your back touching the wall behind you.
"Changmin? Are you alright?"
Yunho's worried voice startled you and you tried your best to hold back the tears threatening to spill on your cheeks. You cleared your throat.
"I'm okay."
"You sure? You still look pale. You should go lie down again."
You finally dared to look at Yunho as Yoochun opened his door, a panicked Jaejoong behind him.
"I was just going to the bathroom."
"Are we having a meeting in the hallway?" asked Junsu, as he came from behind Yunho. You looked at the floor. He pinched his lips together, "what's with this weird mood? First Yoochun this morning wanting absolutely we go to the zoo and now I am excluded of our new hallway meetings, or what?"
"I was just on my way to the bathroom," and you started going away not bothering to stop at Yoochun's calls. You locked the bathroom's door and let yourself slide against it to sit on the floor.
Your heart hurt and your hand clutched at your chest. Jaejoong thought your relationship was wrong? He didn't even try to have you back? He didn't want you back? But he had said he loved you. He had kissed you. And those strange expressions he had on his face when he looked at you. Those things had to mean something and why did it hurt so much when he said it was better to give up?
The tears fell freely from your eyes. What should you do?
A/N: So... mmm. Not too dramatic I hope? The "here comes the airplane" is for
deftonsita. Hope you like. &hearts I am liking Yoochun more and more each time and Jaejoong is being his stupid self. ^^; Next I want to write a bit of HoMin too, though I am not sure. I am also being resigned to the fact it is going slowly...Thank you a lot for reading!
Also. Pimping
in_vazn.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-09-01 10:00 am (UTC)J'aime, j'adore!
Yunho en boulet, c'est génial! Yoochun je l'adore, il est great! XD Su avec les réunions dans le couloir XDDD
Jae je vais le taper, Jae tu laisses tomber Min YOU'RE DEAD! *s'énerve* Pitié, massacre pas le JaeMin >.< En tout cas c'était vraiment trop mignon quand il s'occupe de lui!
Bravo <3
no subject
Date: 2007-09-01 10:09 am (UTC)Ho et Su sont un peu largués et Chun fait de son mieux. Manque de bol Jae et Min sont têtus. :P
T'inquiète pas trop. J'aime trop le JaeMin pour écrire quelque chose de trop drastique (err... même si je l'ai déjà fait auparavant ^^;).
Merci. ^__^
no subject
Date: 2007-09-01 04:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-01 04:44 pm (UTC)Am I just emphasizing practically all the sentences or is this chapter longer?
I just love this chapter and the Jaemin feeling in it.
Thanks a lot!
no subject
Date: 2007-09-01 10:03 pm (UTC)French is my native language. I started learning English when I was 14 years old, I think. ^^
It is the same length as the others (give or take 100 words), I don't know?
Aww~ Thank you! You always leave me lovely comments. <3
no subject
Date: 2007-09-01 08:22 pm (UTC)He needs to start wooing Changmin again.
So that Changmin will fall in love with him all over again.
Not that it's going to be hard, cos it's JaeMin love!
^^
no subject
Date: 2007-09-01 10:05 pm (UTC)Jaemin is <3
^_^
no subject
Date: 2007-09-01 09:54 pm (UTC)Changmin always has the worst timing doesn't he. Always hears things he shouldn't. *pat pat*
Have fun on your trip. ^^
no subject
Date: 2007-09-01 10:09 pm (UTC)He has. >_< But has some good ones; being when Jae kissed him...
Thanks for your comment. ^^ Thanks, though it's more one year of study to a foreign country than a trip.
no subject
Date: 2007-09-01 10:12 pm (UTC)That's true, I'll give Changmin that one.
Study abroad! That should be fun...interesting if nothing else (I want to do that). If I may ask, where are you headed to?
no subject
Date: 2007-09-01 10:13 pm (UTC)I currently live in Switzerland and I am going to Spain. ^^
no subject
Date: 2007-09-01 10:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-02 02:23 pm (UTC)But I guess Jae has the hardest time out of all of them.
He loves Min but thinks that their relationship is wrong.
This is so wrong. It's not supposed to be this way!
I hope they'll get back together soon! ♥
I'll also be looking forward to the tiny HoMin. :D
no subject
Date: 2007-09-02 02:49 pm (UTC)JaeMin like to make it difficult (for me too btw :P). ;_;
&hearts
I predict I will have difficulties to write that one, but I will do my best. ^^
no subject
Date: 2007-09-03 03:03 am (UTC)Oh, and I demand a happy ending, or else *starts up yellow school bus*
no subject
Date: 2007-09-06 05:21 pm (UTC)I am going to write more though I am quite slow (I am sorry >_<) and I hope I won't disappoint you with the next chapters!
Oh~ Oh~ Happy ending? Mmm~ Not saying. Though the tone of the fic should hint at type of ending I will be writing? XD
no subject
Date: 2007-09-03 10:01 pm (UTC)Poor JaeMin. So troubled. Jae had better not give up on Min, but I can understand his feelings. *sigh*
no subject
Date: 2007-09-06 05:23 pm (UTC)They are. I don't think Chun will stand doing nothing. Neither will Min. But yeah, Jaejoong is being reasonably stupid. ^^
no subject
Date: 2007-09-08 10:32 am (UTC)and awww my Junsu, no one tells him anything! xDDD
no subject
Date: 2007-09-11 01:23 pm (UTC)YOU ARE SO CAUSE OF THIS!! YOU AND PLANE COMMENT! (babble more often, you might give me ideas... ^_~)
I know, I know. Someone has to open his eyes. But it's necessary angst... I think... >_<
Junsu is cute. *pinches cheeks*
I AM SO HAPPY YOU LIKE IT! Like really happy as this chapter is for you. &hearts
no subject
Date: 2008-03-16 07:34 am (UTC)I feel so bad for both Jae & Min...
the angst aside..I love obliviously dense Junsu..he at least provides some comical relief inthis fic...
no subject
Date: 2008-03-21 11:24 am (UTC)Junsu is special in his own way. And, yeah, he's the only character that adds humour. I am happy you liked it. &hearts
no subject
Date: 2010-06-04 03:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-14 09:18 pm (UTC)jae + feeding min = *squeals*
"First Yoochun this morning wanting absolutely we go to the zoo and now I am excluded of our new hallway meetings, or what?"
i totally lol-ed
♥ i love this fic :D ♥
no subject
Date: 2011-05-15 09:08 am (UTC)Thank you &hearts