nuagedeau | Fic: Denial ain't just a river in Egypt (one-shot - jaemin

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt
jaemin (side yoosu)
PG
one-shot
9421 words
MPREG, crack, angst, fluff
follows my short drabble baby
thanks to

yami_shin for the crackish support and the drawings and to

sharkbait_ha and

liang_xing_xing, who both corrected my mistakes &hearts

One month after the shower, everything was still the same. Yunho still slept with a stuffed toy. Junsu still laughed like a dolphin whenever Yoochun said something incoherent because he was still half asleep. Jaejoong still hogged the shower while singing nonsensical songs. Changmin still made the error -- or so he called it but Jaejoong thought mistakes had nothing to do with it, hormones, he said with a smirk on his lips -- of entering the bathroom and was, then, thoroughly corrupted. Not there was anything anymore to corrupt.

Two months after the shower, everything was a bit different. Yunho had to sleep without Bambi, a new found allergy. Junsu kissed Yoochun silent whenever he said something stupid because someone wouldn't let him sleep. Jaejoong didn't... yes, he did still hog the shower while singing nonsensical songs.

It was when Jaejoong took a deep breath to launch himself in the final verse of I Feel Pretty that Changmin barged in the bathroom without saying a word, without complaining. And that wasn't quite like always. With a frown, Jaejoong turned off the shower, wrapped himself with a bath towel -- but without before taking a look at his body in the mirror, he really needed to lay off the chocolate -- and he kneeled next to Changmin who was heaving in front of the toilet. Sweat was trickling from his brow, falling into his eyes. He closed them, their corners wrinkling.

Jaejoong patted his back before grabbing a tissue and wiped Changmin's face. The heaving had not stopped and Changmin tasted more bile. His complexion was grey and he was clutching his stomach with one hand while he supported himself with the other one, gripping the toilet seat.

"Hey there."

Jaejoong made soothing motions with his hands on Changmin's back trying to relax him. After a few minutes in this position, it finally stopped and a tired Changmin let himself fall against Jaejoong. His hyung hugged him from behind, wetting his pajamas in the process.

"Feeling any better?"

Deep breaths followed the question. What the?! Had he fallen asleep? Changmin had his eyes closed and his chest rose and fell evenly. He didn't budge when Jaejoong tickled him nor when he pinched him. Kissing the sleeping princess didn't work either.

Jaejoong sneezed.

Half naked with a dead weight in his arms. He needed a rescuing prince. He warmed up his voice and took a deep breath.

"Bambi is drowning in the toilet!"

The door burst open.

"Bambi! Don't die pleaaase! I didn't mean what I said yesterday about your acarids!"

Yunho wasn't exactly a prince but he would suffice.

"Calm down. Bambi is still safely asleep in your closet. I need your help to take Changmin back to his bed."

Changmin has really grown up, reflected Jaejoong. It had been really difficult to move Changmin, but here he was, sleeping in his bed. Thinking of it, it was a wonder that he had not woken up. Jaejoong winced. There was already a beginning of a bruise forming around Changmin's right eye.

Who knew there was a hairpin turn in their flat.

Changmin turned on his left side, drooling on his pillow.

Well. Not quite grown-up. Smiling fondly, Jaejoong caressed Changmin's face. It was quite warm, a little bit too warm even.

He went to fetch a thermometer and stole some clothes from Changmin's wardrobe while waiting for the temperature. He liked wearing too big clothes, especially Changmin's, it made him look cuter. And it annoyed Changmin; that was always an added bonus. An annoyed Min was sexy.

But a sick Min was not. 39.6 degrees. That was bad. Coupled with the dry vomiting it was bad enough to call a doctor.

Their manager thought it was bad enough to go to the hospital. And there went the five of them before going to the TV station. They had to follow the schedule even when there was a person missing. Didn't have the time to stop, to worry, to be with them, to care for them. They had to be professional and do their best even when there was a void in their songs.

At the end of their day, which meant it was already dark, they went to see Changmin at the hospital. He was awake and listening to his mp3-player when they entered his room. Despite his brilliant smile and his reassuring words, Jaejoong thought he was too pale and looked too tired for having slept an entire day.

"Hyung. Don't worry so much. I am just a little tired because they ran test today-"

Oh. Still his skin was too white.

"-and the white blanket doesn't help my complexion-"

Oh. Was he a mind-reader?

"-and I feel much better, though I am a bit hungry."

"Ah! I thought you would be, so I bought you a..."

Knocking Junsu off of the bed, Jaejoong pounced on his Min.

A choked sigh.

"Hyung. You are heavy. Are you trying to asphyxiate me?"

Jaejoong snuggled deeper in response.

But the "happiest reunion ever" -- so dubbed by Jaejoong, who was then playfully hit by Changmin, it's only been a day -- was interrupted by the doctor.

"Could you leave me alone with the patient for a moment, please."

The strong voice woke up Yoochun, who had been sleeping leaning against the wall, while Junsu was detaching Changmin of Jaejoong.

Changmin waved them goodbye and the door closed.

The doctor looked gravely at the young man lying on the bed. Changmin gulped.

"Is it serious, doctor err..."

The man pointed at the tag on his coat.

"Arlequin. Doctor Arlequin. Specialist in MPREG."

That wasn't an Asian name, was it? And what had he said again? MREP?

"You are surely wondering what exactly means the term MPREG."

Changmin nodded.

"But before explaining why I am here, I want to ask you a personal question."

Again a nod.

"Do you have a regular boyfriend?"

Huh?

The doctor looked at the folder he was holding.

"Changmin? It's important."

Boyfriend? Important? It couldn't be... a STD?

"Yes, I have. A boyfriend, I mean. He is on the other side of the door."

Wait a minute. How could he know about the boyfriend? It could have been a girlfriend for all he had known, scratch that, didn't people always assume heterosexuality?

"Perhaps it would be better if he was here. Do you mind?"

"Err... No. No, I don't."

Throwing up and a fever weren't such a big deal. Changmin had thought it had been excessive to bring him to the hospital, but now he was beginning to worry.

The fact didn't escape the scrutiny of Jaejoong, who sat on the bed. He took his lover's hand and squeezed it.

Dr. Arlequin cleared his throat.

"Let's begin, shall we? Changmin. To simplify it, you have a common condition and what makes it all the more serious is that it's considered impossible for a man to... what shall we say... "catch" it."

He sighed.

"Obviously it is not impossible thus your presence here."

Changmin was slowly losing his patience.

"Could you please stop being so cryptic. What is wrong with me?"

"You don't know what MPREG means, do you?"

At their negative response, the doctor sighed again and mumbled something resembling a I hate to explain this part and a they won't believe me anyway.

"MPREG stands for Male pregnancy."

Two blank stares welcomed the information.

"Changmin, congratulations, you are pregnant."

Jaejoong could only stammer while Changmin continued to stare.

"Pregnant as in... having a baby?"

"Yes."

"Is that a joke?"

"I am afraid not."

"Well, it's not working and it's not funny! Could you please stop it?! Min! Say something!"

"Arlequin sounds like a French name."

Jaejoong and the doctor blinked.

"What I meant by say something was: say something clever like you always do that will prove that this is only a joke and that someone with a camera will jump in and say: "Got you!""

That seemed to wake Changmin out of his daze. His eyes narrowed on the doctor.

"I am a man. It's biologically impossible for me to be pregnant."

"That's why I said earlier that even though it is considered impossible and even though it should be so, nature isn't perfect and sometimes offers you some surprises. Good and not so good ones. That said, you're right on one matter: Arlequin is a French name."

Changmin crossed his arms over his chest.

"It's nonsense. I won't believe you without solid proof."

The doctor scratched his temple.

"Well anyway, we have to do an ultrasound to check if everything is okay with the baby."

"There is no baby."

"So shall I call it the unidentified living being growing inside of you?"

Silence.

"Too long, isn't it? So are you alright with ULBG? The "inside of you" part is of course implied to make it shorter."

Changmin gritted his teeth. Jaejoong smirked.

"You know, a doctor having a sense of humour is only consolidating my joke theory."

A nurse choose this moment to enter the room, pushing an ultrasound scanner in front of her. Dr. Arlequin thanked her and made her leave. M-preg cases were handled with discretion, he had explained while preparing the machine. He asked Changmin to take off his shirt and applied a clear gel on his tummy. The coldness made Changmin shiver.

"The ultrasound scanner has a microphone which gives off sound waves. This microphone-"

He took a small device and waved it in the air.

"-is passed over your body and the sound waves it emits bounce off the organs inside your body, and are picked up again by the microphone as they bounce back. The microphone is linked to this computer, which turns the reflected sound waves into a picture. We will be able to see your... ULBG."

Jaejoong nodded and Changmin rolled his eyes. Taking it as an agreement, the doctor began the ultrasound scan.

"Ah. Here you are. Your baby."

On the screen, they could indeed observe a form resembling a baby not yet completely formed.

"It's... hard to see," finally said Jaejoong, "but I think I can distinguish a... foot?"

The doctor smiled.

"Actually that's a hand."

The two turned to watch Changmin's reaction. The look of surprised had lasted only a few seconds before a scowl took over.

"It's an error. A special effect. I am not pregnant."

"Min..."

"I feel perfectly fine and I want to go home."

Changmin pushed the microphone off of his stomach and tried to stand up, but the doctor stopped him, a hand on his chest.

"MPREG is quite difficult for your body to handle. You must rest until at least tomorrow. I will see your manager to schedule a medical consult every week to check on your health."

Changmin snorted.

"The faster you accept it, the easier it will become."

Changmin turned his head away, looking outside the window. Dr Arlequin sighed.

"We are finished for today."

He checked his watch.

"The visitors are only allowed until 9:30p.m. but we can make an exception if you wish to stay with Changmin for this night."

"I want to, if our manager is okay with it."

Dr. Arlequin left after a quick goodbye, taking with him the ultrasound scanner, and the other three with the manager entered the room. The manager stood at the left of the bed with Yunho at his side, effectively blocking Changmin's view on the outside. Junsu took the other side of the bed that wasn't occupied and Yoochun stood behind him, a hand on his shoulder.

After a few seconds of silence, their manager was the one to ask the question.

"So... What did the doctor say?"

Jaejoong looked at Changmin, who was intently playing with his mp3-player. He poked him on his side. Changmin pouted. Jaejoong sighed.

"You will be the death of me, you know."

"Apparently it's your fault I am in this state. Well, not really, because it is not true anyway."

"It's the reality, Min. You saw it with your own eyes."

"I saw weird forms on a screen; that's hardly a proof. Now let me sleep."

Changming laid down, abruptly covering his head with the blanket.

Four worried stares were now fixed on Jaejoong. He fidgetted. The staring still didn't stop. He took a deep breath and began unsteadily to speak, "The doctor said... ", but didn't go very far with his sentence. A laughed escaped him and he muttered to himself.

"Ahh... This is more difficult to say than I thought it would. I mean... who would believe it? I don't even know how to begin."

The strange behaviour certainly didn't help to ease the worry of the group who were more confused than ever.

"Is it so serious?", asked Junsu, "it's not some sort of... cancer, is it?"

Yoochun sat next to him, passing an arm around his shoulders, but Junsu continued:

"Changmin! Say something! You aren't dying, are you?!"

Watching Junsu being hysterical -- No, I am not! I won't calm down Yunho! I want to know! -- made the tears in Yoochun's eyes fall on his cheeks. Jaejoong was still mumbling at himself, looking overwhelmed and the manager was gnawing at his nails.

No one noticed when Changmin, a distressed expression on his face, emerged of the blanket and sat.

"Oh enough! Everyone stop it! It's not like we are in some cheep, tear-jerker drama. I am not dying. I am not sick. I don't even have a cold. So Junsu, stop planning my funeral and give a handkerchief to Yoochun."

Yoochun blew his nose and that seemed to wake up Jaejoong from his confused world.

"Changmin is pregnant."

Changmin fell back on the bed with a groan.

Silence.

"And now we are in a sci-fi drama. No. Seriously. I, your manager, demand an explanation. Now."

"But-"

"Still waiting."

"Jaejoong is serious."

An arm thrown across his face, covering his expression, Changmin neutrally described their encounter with the Doctor Arlequin.

"And it's, of course, rubbish. I mean, ha!, a man pregnant. Like it could happen."

He snorted.

"I can already imagine the newspaper headlines: A famous singer pregnant. The problem: it's a man! How ridiculous can that be."

He began to giggle but stopped when he only heard his own voice. He sat and was welcomed by the shocked and serious faces of everyone. Shocked, he could accept, but serious? They should be laughing with him by now!

"Don't tell me that you believe it?!"

Yunho cleared his throat.

"Well. You saw it. The baby, I mean."

"I saw forms on a screen. That wasn't a baby and even if it was, it could have easily been faked."

"But-"

"I am not talking with people who believe this nonsense."

An uncomfortable silence took over the room.

The manager broke it.

"You know. It's not so bad. It could even make us sell more!"

Five wide open eyes looked at him.

"What? I am suggesting positive arguments. That's all. Trying to lift the mood, you know. It's not like they would let us tell the world that a man is pregnant anyway. What a shame by the way..."

Changmin's patience snapped.

"That's it. I want everyone out. Now!"

Nobody moved.

"It's not good to irritate a "pregnant" person, you know, not healthy for the baby and all," he sneered.

Reluctantly, everyone but Jaejoong left the room.

"I want to be alone."

It hurt him a bit, but Jaejoong decided he would comply. They could talk the next day anyway. Changmin would perhaps be more receptive to the truth. Jaejoong kissed him on his cheek before standing.

"So I will see you tomorrow. Okay?"

Changmin plopped down on his side, looking at the now visible window.

"Sleep well."

Changmin sulked harder. Jaejoong left.

"I am not pregnant, dammit," muttered Changmin just before closing his eyes.

The day after they didn't discuss even though Jaejoong made various intents to. Changmin wasn't more receptive in the slightest. Nor was he a week after, nor the next. And without noticing a little more than a month went by, alternating between interviews, hospital, practice, hospital, concerts and hospital.

The medical consultation with the Dr. Arlequin was the most nerve-racking part. But it shouldn't have been: the baby was healthy and now almost completely formed even though Changmin's life style hadn't changed. Quite frankly he wondered, and the doctor had expressed the same surprise, about how Changmin could support the schedule. Too little rest was bound to be bad for his body.

But he was stubborn. He was absolutely against any kind of favours. Or favouritism, that's how he called it, still convinced it was not real even though he had gained weight -- I eat too much, that's all -- had mood swings that could rival roller coasters -- if you stopped annoying me with this boring fairytale, I would be much calmer. At least the morning sickness had ceased but at this rhythm how long would he last?

Or better said, when would the fangirls catch on?

The stylist did her best to cover his round belly, which meant larger clothes and weird cuts. Jaejoong could only sigh in sadness. He thought the little tummy was cute and he sometimes wished he could tell the whole world he would soon be a father.

When Yunho saw the amount of lost hair and the little nails left on Jaejoong's fingers, he decided to take the control of the operation, which put Jaejoong somewhat at rest. Their leader would think of a plan and all would end well.

So Jaejoong decided to put on motion his own plan. He was decided to accomplish the mission he had set up for himself. He would become the best daddy ever. Giggling happily at this thought, which earnt him a strange glance of Changmin which turned into an outright stunned stare when Jaejoong came home with books.

It turned into an irritated glare when the titles of the books became visible:
The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips and Advice for Dads, The Baby Center Essential Guide to Pregnancy and Birth, The Ultimate Guide to Your Baby's First Year, The New Dad's Survival Guide, Super Baby Food and Best Baby Name Book.

Jaejoong only smiled a bright smile.

"Don't worry; I will become a Super Daddy so you won't have to do anything when the baby is here."

Changmin huffed, a strange expression on his face.

"I don't care how you waste your time. Now if you don't mind, I will continue to study Japanese, which is something useful for a change."

He then settled himself comfortably on the couch, concentrating his attention on his book again, not seeing Jaejoong's smile straining. Becoming a faked smile.

Yoochun's entrance broke the tension.

"Oh! Jaejoong reading other books than cooking ones. There will be snow tomorrow."

Jaejoong decided to join the playful bickering.

"Says the one who reads mushy novels. Don't think we haven't noticed what you are hiding underneath your bed."

Yoochun's cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink.

Junsu's sudden Really?! even made Changmin look up from his book for a second. Junsu laughed and poked Yoochun, making him squeak.

"Who knew you were such a romantic girl?"

"I'm so not the girl! You are! with your cute, plump butt!"

Junsu left eyebrow lifted.

"I will take that as a compliment. Still. Mushy novels; where an ordinary girl is seduced by her prince and they have a happy ever after filled with love and corny lines?" Junsu giggled, "and they say I am the innocent one."

"I am not the pregnant one at least!" said Yoochun before he started thinking.

They slowly looked at the young man reading on the couch.

Changmin turned a page.

Ignoring. Like always.

Yoochun sighed in relief while Jaejoong wished for a different reaction from Changmin.

"What did you buy? Books?!"

Junsu was now looking at the books lying on the little table. He took the one with the prettiest cover.

"Baby Memory Book?"

"I will start recording everything that concerns the baby."

Yoochun patted his back.

"We will help you if you want."

Jaejoong cast a wistful glance at Changmin.

"Thanks but I prefer doing it... alone."

Changmin turned a page.

So passed the time; Jaejoong happily thinking of baby names and Changmin perfectionating his denial.

And finally, in the beginning of the fourth month, THE question that everyone avoided was asked.

"It's too big. The fans aren't stupid."

"What should we do?"

Four persons sighed while one stayed stubbornly silent. The group in complete was sitting at the table in the dining room, trying to find a way to solve the big problem.

Jaejoong threw a blaming glare at Yunho.

"Weren't you supposed to have a plan?"

Yunho looked at his hands.

"It's not that easy. It's kind of a... too big problem."

"Would everyone stop using the word big. It's kind of annoying," grumbled Changmin, crossing an arm over his tummy. Jaejoong went on as if Changmin had never spoken.

"The fans are certainly not stupid. They already noticed something was weird."

Junsu nodded vigorously.

"Did you see all the discussions and fanfictions on the internet?"

"Discussions? Fanfictions?" asked a confused Changmin. Junsu smirked.

"Your tummy is kind of big now and the stylist has some difficulties to hide it, if you haven't noticed."

Changmin was really getting irritated.

"I know that. Get to the point already."

"They write assumptions and stories about why it," he pointed at Changmin's belly, "has become this way."

"Meaning?"

"Some people aren't far from the truth. There was never so much m-preg stories written about us, well mostly about you."

Changmin covered his head with his arms.

"I hate the world."

Jaejoong patted his back.

"Don't say that."

But Junsu had not finished yet.

"There is even what they call a "shipping war" going on. They are fighting over whom is the father of the baby."

He turned towards Jaejoong, lifting his thumb up.

"You have the highest score."

Jaejoong's smile was blinding. Junsu chuckled.

"But the funniest part is that there's some people that even pair Min with food. Can you believe it!"

"I hate the world."

Jaejoong patted Changmin's back again.

"We know, we know."

"And they are quite convinced of it. Their proof being your tummy. That's some big evidence"

"And you make fun of my reading material. I wonder where on the internet you go to read such texts," said Yoochun, trying to erase from his mind images of Changmin and food in... not healthy situations.

Changmin whimpered.

"I won't eat ever again."

Nobody paid attention, each one deep in their thoughts. Yunho was the first to speak.

"We know one thing for sure. Changmin can't show himself anymore."

Changmin began protesting but the serious expression of his Hyung silenced him. Yunho continued.

"Now the problem is what excuse are we going to give them and how are we going to manage without him. There is still five months left and he can't go back immediatly after. So we have to think of something for at least six or seven months. We can always improvise later on."

Yunho scratched the side of his nose.

"Management thinks that an excuse along lines of a sickness would be good. A serious one. Err... Cancer was suggested."

"Isn't that going overboard?!" said Jaejoong, clearly startled.

"They don't want to lose money. Pity pays well."

"Still. Something less drastic would be better. Something that would affect his voice?"

"They thought about that one but it has to be something that would make impossible for him to show up."

"A treatment in a foreign country?", proposed Yoochun.

Yunho seemed to ponder over it for a few seconds.

"It could work."

"We could also tell the truth," softly said Changmin.

They all stared at him, mouth wide open.

"Never mind what I said. There. I didn't say anything."

He stood up wearily.

"I am tired. I am going to sleep. Sorry."

He left leaving behind four uncertain men. Yunho finally decided that he would talk again with the company and the doctor to see what they could come up with.

He went the same day and after much discussion -- they didn't have the same worries and opinions -- they came up with a decision. An illness affecting the voice would cause Changmin to go in Europe for the best treatment. They had scheduled a press conference for the day after.

S.M entertainement had also settled on making the others members work more on their personal projects, meaning they would diminish their apparitions as TVXQ, but not by much. They would, for exemple, organize a special "get well" concert for Changmin. Also it wouldn't be vacations for him, it was decided he should write letters, vague ones, to the members and fans and work on song lyrics. It was also forbidden for him to go out alone or without a disguise.

At this last word, an evil smile stretched Jaejoong's lips. Or was it a perverted one? Changmin didn't care either way. He just wanted things to be like before.

The next morning, while the others had gone to the news conference, Changmin had stayed in bed, brooding. At noon, he finally decided to leave his blanket for the couch in the living-room. A Japanese book on his knees, he tried hard to stop thinking about the conference.

The members came home late with the only desire to rest, except for Jaejoong, who -- with an armful of shopping-bags -- sat excitedly next to Changmin.

"I have a surprise for you!"

Changmin grunted a reply, still immersed in his Japanese lessons.

"The guys and I went shopping to choose your disguise."

Yunho entered the living-room. He looked apologetic, which didn't reassure in the least Changmin. The youngest man had left his book on the small table in front of him, intrigued in what they had bought for him.

"Sorry Changmin. I tried to stop them, but three against one... I hope one day you will forgive me."

Changmin was really beginning to worry.

"Oh! Stop the acting Yunho. You also thought it was cute. And wasn't it such a great idea? I am genius."

Changmin was really worried now.

"Junsu! Yoochun! I am going to show Changmin his new clothes. You coming?"

Yunho sighed as the two others came practically running.

Junsu pushed Changmin a bit towards Jaejoong to sit beside him and Yoochun leant on the back of couch.

"It will be soooo cute. You will see, Min."

Junsu waved his hands enthusiastically as he spoke and Changmin felt a bit trapped. He didn't want to look cute either, he was the mysterious one after all. Jaejoong looked undecided.

"Which one should we show him first?"

"The pink one of course," said Yoochun with a sadistic smile.

Pink one? For the first time of his life, Changmin wished his clothes involved a beard, a cane and fake gold teeth. Even his deer costume looked appealing in face of what was waiting for him. Oh, stop being so melodramatic Changmin! It's just a costume, and even if it's pink, it can't be that terrible.

His musings were interrupted when Jaejoong pulled out of a smallish bag a baby-pink maternity dress, complete with lace and sequins. Changmin was too horrified to react while more cute dresses followed -- see! even purple ones, your favourite colour -- with bags, shoes and jewels. Jaejoong looked at Changmin with big innocent eyes, but Changmin could clearly discern the malicious glint in them. Why had his life take this nightmarish turn?

Unexpectedly tears began to run down his face and he was soon violently sobbing.

Well. They hadn't planned on this reaction at all. Jaejoong put the purchases on the floor and softly took Changmin in his arms.

"Come on, Min. What better disguise than the woman one? Nobody will expect it and you will be able to go out without problems."

And I will be able to cross out this one out of my kink list, added silently Jaejoong.

"But I am not a girl!"

Junsu nodded, "yes, we know," while Yoochun smirked, "could have fooled me with all this pregnant stuff".

Yoochun was then hit on the head by Junsu before being dragged out of the living-room by his ear. Once securely in their room, Junsu cornered Yoochun.

"Why do you always have to put your foot in your mouth?"

Yoochun winked.

"That's why you love me, don't you?"

Junsu kissed Yoochun so he wouldn't say anything else idiotic.

"And I like your method of shutting me up. Worth all the hitting."

Yunho, thoroughly ignored until now, looked up from his book.

"You're so sappy it hurts my teeth."

"Your teeth are too white for anything to break them."

Yunho's eyes narrowed on Yoochun.

"Trying to piss me off?"

"Well, you broke the sappy moment so..."

Junsu tried to avert the catastrophe. The group had already enough problems as it was.

"Shouldn't we keep an eye on these two. I am a bit afraid for Min."

Yoochun snorted.

"I would be more worried about Jaejoong if I were you. And anyway, they need to deal with their issue by themselves."

A crashing sound was heard. A high-pitched scream followed shortly after.

Junsu let himself fall on his bed.

"We are so screwed."

And with this "joyous" atmosphere, the fourth month ended. Since the dress incident, Changmin's face had settled on an eternal frowning expression and Jaejoong carefully kept the clothes just in case in his wardrobe, which intensified the frowning on Changmin's part.

"I won't wear them. Ever. Just so you know."

Changmin was slumped in a chair at the dining table, watching Jaejoong cook.

"I know."

"I really won't!"

"I know."

"Why do keep them then?"

"Have you thought that I wanted, perhaps, to wear them?"

"You wouldn't."

"It could be fun."

"No, it wouldn't."

Jaejoong stopped cutting the carrots and raised an eyebrow at Changmin.

"How do you know that? You've never tried, have you?"

Changmin stammered.

The knife fell off Jaejoong's hand.

"You have!"

Changmin closed his eyes tightly, his cheeks becoming slightly red.

"It was a dare and my mother blackmailed me into doing it!"

"Did she take photos?"

"I burned them."

"So she still has the negatives..."

Changmin stood up, making the chair tilt and then fall on the floor.

"Stop thinking whatever you're thinking!"

"Okay... Miss Minnie."

Yunho, whose objective was a glass of water, promptly went back to his room. He didn't want to be caught in the crossfire after all.

Changmin's lower lip quivered.

"It's not fair... Why me?"

"Because it's your destiny?"

Changmin's stare pinned Jaejoong's.

"You should be the one pregnant."

"Why is that?"

Changmin took a step forward.

"You're the one wearing a pink apron while cooking!"

"You're favourite colour is purple."

Changmin took another step forward.

"You're the pretty one!"

"You're the pregnant one."

Only a few centimeter was separating them.

"You're smaller and girly!"

"Well, I top."

"That's... That's not fair! And I top too, sometimes. Well. This one time, but..."

Jaejoong yanked him down by the collar of his shirt and kissed him. Changmin, reluctant at first, followed Jaejoong's face when this one broke the kiss. He pouted.

"Still not fair."

"I am sorry?"

"You are so not forg... Ouch."

Changmin leant against Jaejoong's shoulder and crossed an arm against his stomach. Jaejoong held him gently.

"Are you alright?"

Changmin took a step back, detaching himself from the warm embrace.

"Min?"

"I think... it kicked me?"

The worried look on Jaejoong's face was quickly replaced by one of excitation.

"Where? Where? Show me! Perhaps the baby will kick again. I want to feel it too."

His eyes were twinkling -- was that even possible?! -- and Changmin watched warily as hands were nearing his round stomach.

"Never mind. It was just a cramp or something."

The hands fell away.

"And my back hurts so I am going to lay down for a while."

The twinkles blew out and Changmin ran away.

And had continued to run away until the 26 of January. Even though Changmin was angry at the world and wanted nothing more than to stay locked in his room until somehow everything would be okay and normal again, he wasn't angry enough to forget Jaejoong's birthday. Jaejoong was already doing a great job at forgetting it with all his "best dad ever" stuff.

"So annoying," said Changmin, not knowing if he was talking about his hyung or about the poor job he was doing at concealing his belly.

After another ten minutes passed in front of the long mirror of his bedroom, he still couldn't arrange the clothes to his liking. Ignoring it, hadn't made it disappear. Changmin sighed, rubbing his right eye. His gaze fell back on his stomach. He slowly let fall his hand from his face and as slowly, he led it to his stomach while he lifted his sweater with his other hand.

The skin was warm and familiar. What wasn't, was the roundness and the living being inside of him.

It wouldn't go away, it wasn't just a nightmare or a twisted daydream, nor was it a movie or a book. It was real. There really was a baby and no amount of denial could change that. It wasn't supposed to be possible, yet it was and he had to work with it.

His eyes felt wet but the tears wouldn't fall and he clutched his belly tighter. A new life was an happy event so he shouldn't be feeling so bad, should he? He bent his head until it rested on the cool surface in front of him.

"Min? Are you alright?"

Changmin closed his eyes, trying to regain his calm. But the silence only made Jaejoong more uneasy and he took the steps that separated him from Changmin.

"Min? Can I-"

But as Jaejoong put a hand on his shoulder, Changmin's illusion finally broke. He turned around to face Jaejoong, his back leaning against the mirror.

"How can I possibly be? I am pregnant. I can't even go out to buy your present. I have let the group and the fans down-"

"But-"

"Don't interrupt me! We are going to have a baby! A baby. It's not doll. You can't take out the batteries to take a break. We are both men and in addition we are an idol group; how are we going to explain it? Hell, how are we going to manage to live with it. We are too young for such a responsibility and our life style isn't appropriate for a child. It's just too much and I don't know if I will be able to bear it. And..."

Changmin lowered his head.

"I am sorry."

"Oh Min..."

Jaejoong pulled him and Changmin let himself fall in the embrace, the tears running on his cheeks.

"I am here. You are not alone."

Changmin snorted.

"Says the one who forgets his own birthday."

"Ehh?"

"Today is the 26. Happy birthday. Sorry, I have no present for you."

Jaejoong tightened his hold.

"You started talking to me about the baby. That's enough of a gift."

"Well. It's really there, isn't it? It's not a trick."

"No, it's not."

Changmin sniffed and detached himself from the hug but Jaejoong grabbed his hands, not wanting to lose the warmth.

"I am sorry for wetting your pullover."

"Every problem has its solution. I will just dry it with the hair-dryer."

"Hyung. If you are trying to suggest a similarity between a wet pullover and a baby, I am going to laugh at you. A lot."

"Then I would have completed my mission."

"Which is?"

"The stage one of the Best Daddy Ever Big Plan by Kim Jaejoong. Making Min happy."

Changmin's lips stretched upwards and Jaejoong was rewarded by a smile with uneven eyes.

After this event, Jaejoong really transformed into the best daddy ever, even though Changmin begged to differ; mother hen, he would say.

"I am not."

"You so are!"

"I just care for you."

Changmin rolled his eyes.

"You wanted to give me a foot massage."

"So? You like them."

"You're only making my favorite dishes for dinner."

"That's not hard. You like everything."

"You fuss over the pillows every time I sit down."

"They are too flat and it would be bad for your back."

"You open the doors for me."

"I just happen to walk before you."

"You ask me fifty questions a day over my well-being. Oh! Forget it. I am going to take a nap."

"Wait! Are you hungry? thirsty? Want strawberries? I could sing a lullaby for you if you want."

Changmin had disappeared from his field of vision.

"Leave me alone. I am not a kid."

A door was violently closed. Jaejoong sighed.

"Ah. How childish."

"I wouldn't mind strawberries," said Junsu, while he entered the kitchen.

"You can't. What if Changmin has a suddenly craving for them and there is none left?"

Junsu threw him a weird look that Jaejoong ignored.

"And anyway strawberries in winter are too expensive to be eaten."

For Yunho's birthday, they had decided on a quiet movie evening. Jaejoong had made the cake, Yoochun bought the popcorn, Junsu rented the movie and Changmin had wished for strawberries.

Everything was ready for the session. Yoochun settled on the floor, Yunho chose the most comfortable armchair, Jaejoong installed Changmin -- under a blanket so you don't catch a cold -- in the middle of the sofa and sat to his left while Junsu sat to his right.

Jaejoong's look of victory directed at Junsu while Changmin was nibbling the strawberries, was of short duration.

"A Tale of Two Sisters? Isn't that a horror movie?"

Everyone turned towards Jaejoong, intrigued by the worried tone.

"What about the baby? It shouldn't watch a horror movie. Think of the damage it could cause."

"Here it goes," said Changmin with a sigh. Jaejoong's eyes narrowed on him.

"I've read books that said babies could hear. You wouldn't expose his ears to terrified screams, would you?"

"So you're saying I shouldn't watch the news either, you know, because of the catastrophes and violence? I wanted to watch this movie anyway so don't bother trying."

Jaejoong sulked.

"An animation movie would have been better."

Yoochun made a shushing sound. The movie had begun.

One hour later, Junsu had dozed off, drooling on Jaejoong's shoulder. Yoochun had put a pillow against his face effectively preventing any disturbing images from entering his brain. Yunho, mouth half opened, seemed totally engrossed in the movie while Jaejoong was squeezing Changmin's arm so much that it had to hurt.

Thinking of it, it was strange that Changmin had not complained. Jaejoong turned his head and he gasped at the sight that greeted him: Min's half-closed eyes were shining, sweet covered his pale face and his breath was shallow.

The panic kicking in, he shook him hard.

"Changmin!"

"Mmm... Hyung?" He tried hard to look at Jaejoong but his eyes seemed to refuse focusing, "it hurts."

"Where? Since when? Why didn't you tell?"

"Stomach. Thought it would pass."

"It's too soon to be... Someone call the doctor!"

"I am," Yunho was dialling Dr. Arlequin's urgency number. Yoochun had gone for a glass of water and Junsu helped Jaejoong to lay Changmin down on the couch.

"He sent an ambulance. It will be there in about ten minutes."

"And here's the water. With a straw," Yoochun kneeled, holding the straw near Changmin's mouth so he could drink. He could only swallow a few gulps and Jaejoong took Yoochun's place, murmuring soothing words in his ear.

Then the blurry forms became darkness and he woke up to beeping sounds. He scrunched his face, opening his eyes. A white celling. He mentally sighed -- in a hospital again? -- and finally noticed a warm hand holding his. He turned his head to the left and was welcomed by the sight of Jaejoong soundly asleep, half sitting on a chair and half leaning against the bed. A lock of hair was falling in Jaejoong's eyes and Changmin made a movement to brush it behind his ear but his arm weighted more than it should. He felt as if he wasn't the one controlling his body; it was as if he was watching a movie. Still. He had to focus. Why was he there, feeling like crap?

Yunho's birthday (16th February), the strawberries (yummy), the horror movie (Jaejoong's grip hurt) and then he had felt this pain in his stomach and it was the baby that...

"The baby," murmured Changmin and he squeezed Jaejoong's hand to wake him up. It only made him start snoring. So he pinched him particularly hard, which seemed to do the trick. Jaejoong abruptely lifted his face, the creases of the blanket printed on it, and jumped on his feet seeing Changmin awake.

"The baby?" he repeated.

"It's all well now. Don't worry," responded Jaejoong, caressing his hair softly. Changmin sighed and fell asleep. Jaejoong sat again, wearing a smile tainted by worry on his lips.

"So he finally cares, huh."

Changmin didn't wake up again until the second day of hospitalization. He blinked a few times, letting his eyes be accostumed to the light. No one was in the room and Changmin barely suppressed a disappointed sigh. Frowning in confusion, he tried to recall if he had really seen Jaejoong at his bedside or if it had all been a dream. Before he could decide, Dr. Arlequin entered the room, closing noisily the door.

"So how is the young man with the ULBG?"

Changmin's lips twisted, "it's not funny anymore. Not that it had ever been, but..."

"Still in denial, I see."

Changmin tried to sit up -- being looked from above was slightly uncomfortable -- but could only wince in pain and let himself plop back on the bed. Dr. Arlequin helped him up, putting a pillow behind his back.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. Where are you hurting?"

"My back, I guess. A bit of headache too."

Dr. Arlequin, head in his papers, was scribbling responses and remarks.

"Is that all?"

Changmin took a big breath. No more avoiding reality. Not when it put you in an hospital bed. So he forced a little laugh in his voice, "it's not too bad... considering I am pregnant, is it?"

The pen suspended itself above the medical sheet and slowly, Dr. Arlequin raised his head, "was it an hallucination or...?"

Changmin lowered his head, hiding his now red cheeks, "no, I... really..."

Dr. Arlequin smiled.

"Oh! Thanks. It only took a few months and big stomach to convince you."

Changmin cringed, which elicited a small laugh from the doctor. The young man looked up and was offered a wink.

"It's at least better than those that don't admit it until the baby is actually there. Good point for you."

"Just out of curiosity. Can I ask you something?"

"Curiosity is good. Ask away."

"Is there a lot of... errr..."

"Male pregnancies?" Changmin nodded. "No, there isn't. It's really rare. I've had three cases, yours included, and I am one of the only specialists you can find. But don't be afraid, I studied enough for you to be safe."

"So why I am here? In the hospital, I mean."

Dr. Arlequin sat on the chair that Jaejoong used earlier. He let out a small sigh and looked right into Changmin's eyes.

"Pregnancy is a process that can already be dangerous for women. To put it bluntly, it's like a parasite. It takes a lot from your body and makes it change. If you add the fact that you are a man, with a body not conceived to support it, well, you see the picture," Changmin nodded again and the doctor continued, "what happened was just that. Your body is at its limits and choose to break down as warning before serious damage appeared. So you are alright. The baby is alright."

Changmin finally relaxed, a hand on his stomach.

"What will happen now?"

"I am afraid to say you will have to be hospitalized until the end of your pregnancy at least. We would take too much risks if we let you out in this state."

"I really can't go home?"

"No. We have to monitor you, both of you, all the time. Sorry."

"Ah. Well. If it can't be helped, I've no choice."

Dr. Arlequin stood up, "Very well. A nurse will soon bring you food -- it's nearly twelve after all - and you have to rest a bit to get back your strength. I'll be back later to run a few tests."

A nod and he was gone. Changmin was left staring at the white wall.

The door opened again and a sudden hope flared in his chest, but was promptly squashed when Dr. Arlequin's head came through.

"I nearly forgot: Happy Birthday!" and the door was closed again. Changmin frowned. It was the eighteenth? That meant he had been unconscious for an entire day. It also meant it was he worse birthday ever. Before he could dwell on it further and fall in self-pity thoughts, the nurse came in, bringing him food.

Changmin had passed the day alternating between medical exams, sleeping and sending sms. He couldn't receive calls because of his "sickness". Thinking about it, he didn't know if losing his voice would have been worse than being pregnant. Probably.

After the door hitting the wall rather noisily, a smiling Jaejoong threw himself at Changmin's throat.

"I miiiiissed you!"

"Hyung, you're heavy," Changmin complained but tightened his hold on Jaejoong.

"Are we that easily forgettable?" asked Junsu and Jaejoong let go of Changmin almost completely, taking Min's hand in his. Yoochun gave a light tap on Junsu's head.

"You ruined the mood. It was like a drama scene." Junsu stuck his tongue out.

"It was my role to do so, being the humorous side character and all."

"How are you Changmin? Feeling any better?" said Yunho, interrupting the madness, "did the doctor explain what happened to you?"

"I'm alright now but I'll have to stay here until the end of the pregnancy. Something about my body not being able to handle it."

Changmin's statement was met by grave faces. He rubbed the back of his hand.

"Come on. No need to become all serious. There's not even two months left. It will pass by quickly."

"What worry me the most is what we are going to do after," Yunho sighed, "a baby, it's-"

"Don't worry. I won't quit the band. Even if I wanted, I can't with our actual contract anyway," said Changmin.

"My family could help. We can cover it up by saying it's my nephew or my godson. Who would question us from visiting family?" added Jaejoong. Yunho nodded.

"It could work. We just need to convince your family."

Changmin snorted, "I wonder how we're going to announce that you got a guy pregnant. I bet their reaction will be priceless. Has someone a camera so we can film that?"

Jaejoong tightened his hold on him, "Changmin..."

"And you won't be able to see the baby much," said Junsu, a sad expression on his face. Changmin shook his head.

"We can't help it and when you think about it, a lot of parents are in the same situation."

There was a few minutes of uncomfortable silence. It was Changmin who broke it.

"So. No one has a gift to give me?"

"We wanted to make you surprise anniversary dinner, but..." responded Yoochun. Jaejoong let escape a little cry.

"I've brought your mp3-player!" he put it on Changmin's lap, "so you won't be too bored."

Changmin opened his mouth to thanks Jaejoong but Junsu spoke first, a smirk on his lips.

"Let's sing!"

Changmin let out a long suffering sigh, "there's really no need to-"

"That's a good idea Junsu!"

"My ideas are always good, Yoochun."

"There is really no need to-"

"Alright," said Jaejoong paying no mind to the protesting Changmin. And they began to sing the classic "happy birthday". Changmin had his "I am with idiots" face on but it quickly changed to surprise when a gasp escaped his lips and his hand naturally went to his stomach. Jaejoong interrupted the singing.

"Are you alright?"

Then Changmin smiled so hard that it had to hurt, "he just began moving when you started to sing. Sing again!"

"I've really the impression of being in a sappy drama," mumbled Yoochun, but they started to sing again anyway, just so Changmin would smile again.

The end of the month and the beginning of the next one were uneventful, a routine having been established revolving around working hard and going to visit Changmin, who looked each time more and more tired. Jaejoong had succeeded in convincing his family to take care of the baby, though nobody knew how he did it. Jaejoong refused to speak. The only words they had been able to draw off were that women are scary, which didn't help to solve the mystery. Changmin had yet to speak to his parents but had refused the proposal of Jaejoong to do it in his stead.

"You aren't going to wait until the baby is here, are you?" Jaejoong was laying on his side next to Changmin, one hand on Min's belly and the other caressing his arm.

"I still have a month left and I'm sleepy so leave me alone with that." Jaejoong had his gaze fixed on Changmin's profile, taking in the pale face and the eyes fluttering.

"You can sleep if you want," he whispered. Changmin's lips twisted and was reluctant to respond.

"I don't see you much. How could I sleep when you're here."

Jaejoong's mouth broke into a smile, "aww, you cute thing."

"Call me cute one more time and I push you off the bed."

"I sense hormones speaking."

Changmin snorted, "that was my mind speaking."

"Then you're setting a bad example to the baby. Already being mean to me. Speaking of the baby. Do you have any idea for the name?"

"Do you?"

"Well, one of the part of the Best Daddy Ever Big Plan was to find a name."

Changmin closed his eyes, a gentle smile on his lips, "mm. So what are the candidates?"

"Guys or girls first?"

"Whatever."

Jaejoong pouted, "I still think we should have asked to know the sex."

"I prefer the surprise. So the names?"

"Guys first then. I really like Jung Hwa," Changmin stay silent, "so? Min?"

"You know. You choose the guy's name and I choose the girl's. Is that alright?"

Jaejoong's mouth opened from the surprise, "so you did think about names!"

He sat abruptly, jumping on the bed.

"I like Hyun Ae."

Jaejoong stopped moving, "not bad. I liked Soo though, but Hyun Ae is good too."

"So it's decided?" Changmin looked at Jaejoong, who nodded. Jaejoong lied again, this time snuggling against Changmin, nuzzling his throat. Changmin smirked.

"It'll be a girl."

Jaejoong lifted his head so they would be nose against nose.

"It'll be a boy."

Changmin licked his nose.

"A girl."

Jaejoong kissed the corner of his mouth.

"A boy, I tell you."

"Whatever."

And Changmin kissed Jaejoong on the lips.

The day after, Jaejoong's cellphone rang in the middle of a photo shoot. It was the special phone tone he had programmed for the hospital's calls. All happened in a blur, Jaejoong heard of complications, lives in danger, operation and soon he was in a car with the others and their manager. Yunho had passed an arm around his shoulder and Yoochun held his hand even though Jaejoong was crushing his.

At the hospital, they could only wait. Yoochun was pacing, Junsu was praying and Yunho tried to comfort Jaejoong, murmuring that everything would go well. Jaejoong felt like he was underwater and when the Dr. Arlequin came and began speaking about the complications, he couldn't listen, his blood roaring in his ears. It was only when the doctor pronounced these three words that he emerged from the water.

"They are fine now. The baby is, of course, premature so she won't be able to leave the hospital for two months more."

"She?" Junsu asked. Dr. Arlequin smiled.

"It's a girl."

"Changmin's always right. So annoying," mumbled Jaejoong -- though nobody heard him -- he then spoke louder, "and how is Changmin?"

"He is still sleeping. He has lost an important quantity of blood so he is quite weak and he will be for a few weeks," at the worried face of Jaejoong, "You shouldn't worry. He'll be fine."

"Can we go see him?" Jaejoong asked.

"You can, though only for a little while. He needs to rest," the doctor made a movement to leave but stopped himself, "oh, I nearly forgot. Did you choose a name?"

Jaejoong smiled a little, tears in his eyes from the relief, "Hyun Ae."

When Changmin woke up for more than a few minutes, two days had already passed. Jaejoong sat next to the bed while Junsu had taken place on the edge of it, Yoochun standing behind him and Yunho leaning against the wall in front of the bed. All looked attentively at Changmin, as this one slowly opened his eyes.

"Hey," he croaked, "why looking at me, doing a staring contest?"

"Smart ass," responded Jaejoong, "you totally made us worry to death, you know."

Changmin bit his lower lips, "and... the baby?"

"She's fine."

Changmin sighed, his body relaxing, before a smirk appeared on his lips, "eh, I win."

"What do you win?" asked Junsu, confused.

"Nothing. He's being his usual dork self," said Jaejoong. The silence took place for a few minutes before Changmin spoke again.

"So... Did you go see her?"

Jaejoong shifted nervously, "I didn't want to go without you."

Changmin felt tears slowly invading his eyes, "...thanks."

"You're a dad!" squealed Junsu, taking Changmin's hand in his.

"Technically, he would be the mom and-," began Yoochun but the dark stare cut him short. The room lapsed in silence again but not for long.

"I want to see her," whispered Changmin. Jaejoong stood.

"So let's go!"

"Do you think they'll let me?"

"Wait a minute. I'll go ask a nurse." Jaejoong left, almost running from the excitement and Changmin asked to the others if they wanted to come too. It was Yunho who responded after a brief eye contact with Yoochun.

"You should go the both of you alone.

"You don't mind?"

Yunho smiled reassuringly, "we'll have plenty of time after. Oh. By the way, you return is planned in about two months. You better be well soon."

Jaejoong came back shortly, a nurse following. They helped Changmin stand and he slowly made his way to the neonatal room, an arm across his stomach, leaning heavily on Jaejoong, who was pushing the i.v. drip. The Dr. Arlequin was waiting for them.

"I've to warn that she is very small. But you have nothing to worry about as she is perfectly healthy."

He lead them to what looked like a small crystal box and Changmin couldn't stop the small gasp from escaping his lips. She looked so tiny that it was as if you could hurt her simply by touching.

"You can touch her if you want."

And Jaejoong and Changmin did and the tears finally fell from Changmin's eyes.

"Happy?" asked Jaejoong. The smile with uneven eyes was the only response needed.

"Though, hyung."

"Mm?"

"From now on, you're prohibited from singing in the shower."

Author notes: The end is a bit... sappy and the crack left me half way through. And the fluff and the angst always manage to invade my fics. ^^; Well. It's done! I am happy to have finished it. And to think the idea of mpreg disgusted me and here I've written a fic about it. Also, it was supposed to be very short, ficlet style, but it kept growing. Ah sorry, I am rambling. Thank you for reading.
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt is a quote from Mark Twain.