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nuagedeauA walk down memory lane (3/11)
jaemin
PG
angst, fluff
1296 words (total: 3717)
not betaed
Memory is a tricky thing. Love is too.
parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11.
Nature
... everything in nature is lyrical in its ideal essence, tragic in its fate, and comic in its existence.
~George Santayana
You thought it would become easier once you had both admitted your feelings to yourselves and then to each other.
In fact,
it was harder.
It's true that you weren't confused anymore and you felt heavenly good knowing it wasn't one sided, but your type of work wasn't the ideal seating for an homosexual, co-worker love. Fan service had always been welcomed by the fans but actual love? It was simply a big fat no.
Speaking of fan service, that too was harder to do than before. It took every once of will not to be too clingyor not to jump on h... (never mind that thought), when Jaejoong teased or slightly touched you.
Jealousy was also a new annoying and distracting feeling that had made his apparition. Be the fans or the other members or even their stylist, all you wanted to do was handcuff your Hyung to your bed and never let him go.
The perverted fantasies were disturbing too.
You sighed in your pillow, feeling tired and frustrated. While your body relaxed, your mind was slowly drifting towards sweet daydreams. Him beneath you, lips slightly parted, your hands on his skin, his limbs tangled with yours; you leaned, trying to catch his mouth for a kiss...
A hand on your shoulder startled you. Returning to reality, you sat abruptly, shaking the hand off rather violently.
"Whoa. That wasn't quite the reaction I hoped for."
You tried to catch your breath but instead hiccupped.
"Hyung. Are you trying"
Hiccup.
"to kill me by heart"
Hiccup.
"attack?"
Jaejoong sat next to you, a hand patting your back.
"I don't damage what"
Hiccup.
"is mine and I want"
Hiccup.
"to take full profit"
Hiccup.
"of the heart you gave"
Hiccup.
"me."
"That was cheesy."
Hiccup.
"Well. You keep inte..."
Hiccup.
"rrupting me."
"Your fau...
...lt.
The kiss took you and your hiccup by surprise. You let Jaejoong take the lead while your marvelled again on the fact that he loved you.
When you regained awareness, you were flat on your back. Jaejoong was lying on top of you while one of his hands was under your shirt caressing lightly your skin. You felt a hot blow on your ear.
"I win."
Out of breath, distracted, your brain telling you that that was so much better than a dream, you managed to whisper against his neck.
"Were we racing?"
You gasped when he nibbled on your collarbone before answering.
"I interrupted your hiccup before it could interrupt me. I win."
He soothed his bites with kisses. In the distance, you could hear the door opening.
"Changmin, I was wondering if... Never mind. I will come back later."
You, bright red, had tried to push Jaejoong off of yourself to follow Yoochun before he left. Jaejoong was being quite an obstacle to your plan, holding you firmly in the bed.
"Ah! Wait! It's not... what it looks like?"
"And you tell me I am lame because I am cheesy."
Yoochun tried to make a successful escape and reached for the doorknob. Jaejoong's voice stopped him again.
"It is exactly what it looks like: me trying to make love to my Min because I love him."
Your eyes were wide opened but Yoochun was definitely more surprised than you were and not for the same reason. You spoke nearly at the same time.
"...love him?"
"...making love?"
Jaejoong lifted an eyebrow.
"Yes and yes. Firstly, Yoochun, we are madly in love with each other and we don't give a damn if it's an illicit and forbidden love. So you won't tell anyone unless you wish to die a painful death.
Secondly, Min, you have teased me merciless this week, you are hot and I am a healthy man with needs. Yoochun, why are you still standing here?"
Yoochun quickly left and Jaejoong kissed your cheek. You sighed.
"Here I thought your first "I love you" would be more romantic."
He smirked.
"Here I thought you weren't a romantic girl dreaming of romantic first kisses..."
You pouted. With sad, sad eyes. He sighed.
"Well, technically speaking, I didn't say it. I said I loved him."
You snorted but admitted he had a point. That didn't mean you wouldn't make him pay for it. Later. Now you only wanted to savour him warmth. You nuzzled against him and he kissed the top of your head. You were so comfortable that you fell asleep for the third time.
*
When you were eating the next evening, you still couldn't believe you had slept so much, you didn't think much about the rain pouring down, you could only think about your Hyung and the surprise you had begun to plan for him.
When you told Yoochun you wanted to go out for a while, he looked at you suspiciously.
"It's late. Why do you need to go out?"
You answered evasively about needing a "thing" for being able to do "something" for "someone". He closed his eyes and shrugged.
"Not like I understand, but whatever makes you happy."
You smiled, feeling he wasn't only talking about you going out.
When you were waiting under the rain for the traffic lights to become green, an umbrella made you turn around to a frowning Jaejoong.
"Thanks."
"Thanks?! You irresponsible little...! What if you caught a flu?!"
"Well, I am a lucky person to have you take care of me. Fortunately you love him."
He sighed.
"I knew this would come back to me... And by the way where are you going?"
"Somewhere. I have got to go. It's green."
"Wait a..."
You began to run but not before turning a last time towards him. You smirked.
"Don't forget me and begin to love him."
When crossing the street, you didn't see the car coming, but you heard Jaejoong's screams.
Right before being run over, you could only see the horror in Jaejoong's eyes.
Then there was nothing.
When you regained consciousness, you couldn't open your eyes. You felt so heavy you thought it was as if earth gravity had increased while you slept.
When you woke up again, your eyelids didn't weighed so much anymore so you saw white. You quickly closed your eyes - it hurt - but reopened after a while. Then you blinked once, twice or perhaps more and the white smear took shape of a ceiling with neon lights. Someone was talking. You tried to turn your head but you felt sick. Out of the corner of your eyes, you could distinguish an i.v. drip. You felt tired. You slowly fell asleep again but not before hearing startled voices.
When you became awake for the third time, you felt a hand holding yours. Feeling better enough to turn your head, you looked at two wide open eyes. The hand squeezed yours and tears ran from the eyes.
"Oh! Min. I... I was so afraid of losing you. We were all afraid."
He smiled fondly.
"But you are awake now and it will be like a bad dream we will soon forget."
You frowned. You were confused. Your lips opened but no sound came out. You tried again but your throat was raspy and hurt.
"Wait a second. I will get you some water. It will help."
You downed a few gulps. Then you finally asked what was on your mind since the last time you woke up.
"Who are you?"
When you lost your memories you couldn't really understand the look of pained irony painted on his face. It wasn't your fault, really.
jaemin
PG
angst, fluff
1296 words (total: 3717)
not betaed
Memory is a tricky thing. Love is too.
parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11.
Nature
... everything in nature is lyrical in its ideal essence, tragic in its fate, and comic in its existence.
~George Santayana
You thought it would become easier once you had both admitted your feelings to yourselves and then to each other.
In fact,
it was harder.
It's true that you weren't confused anymore and you felt heavenly good knowing it wasn't one sided, but your type of work wasn't the ideal seating for an homosexual, co-worker love. Fan service had always been welcomed by the fans but actual love? It was simply a big fat no.
Speaking of fan service, that too was harder to do than before. It took every once of will not to be too clingy
Jealousy was also a new annoying and distracting feeling that had made his apparition. Be the fans or the other members or even their stylist, all you wanted to do was handcuff your Hyung to your bed and never let him go.
The perverted fantasies were disturbing too.
You sighed in your pillow, feeling tired and frustrated. While your body relaxed, your mind was slowly drifting towards sweet daydreams. Him beneath you, lips slightly parted, your hands on his skin, his limbs tangled with yours; you leaned, trying to catch his mouth for a kiss...
A hand on your shoulder startled you. Returning to reality, you sat abruptly, shaking the hand off rather violently.
"Whoa. That wasn't quite the reaction I hoped for."
You tried to catch your breath but instead hiccupped.
"Hyung. Are you trying"
Hiccup.
"to kill me by heart"
Hiccup.
"attack?"
Jaejoong sat next to you, a hand patting your back.
"I don't damage what"
Hiccup.
"is mine and I want"
Hiccup.
"to take full profit"
Hiccup.
"of the heart you gave"
Hiccup.
"me."
"That was cheesy."
Hiccup.
"Well. You keep inte..."
Hiccup.
"rrupting me."
"Your fau...
...lt.
The kiss took you and your hiccup by surprise. You let Jaejoong take the lead while your marvelled again on the fact that he loved you.
When you regained awareness, you were flat on your back. Jaejoong was lying on top of you while one of his hands was under your shirt caressing lightly your skin. You felt a hot blow on your ear.
"I win."
Out of breath, distracted, your brain telling you that that was so much better than a dream, you managed to whisper against his neck.
"Were we racing?"
You gasped when he nibbled on your collarbone before answering.
"I interrupted your hiccup before it could interrupt me. I win."
He soothed his bites with kisses. In the distance, you could hear the door opening.
"Changmin, I was wondering if... Never mind. I will come back later."
You, bright red, had tried to push Jaejoong off of yourself to follow Yoochun before he left. Jaejoong was being quite an obstacle to your plan, holding you firmly in the bed.
"Ah! Wait! It's not... what it looks like?"
"And you tell me I am lame because I am cheesy."
Yoochun tried to make a successful escape and reached for the doorknob. Jaejoong's voice stopped him again.
"It is exactly what it looks like: me trying to make love to my Min because I love him."
Your eyes were wide opened but Yoochun was definitely more surprised than you were and not for the same reason. You spoke nearly at the same time.
"...love him?"
"...making love?"
Jaejoong lifted an eyebrow.
"Yes and yes. Firstly, Yoochun, we are madly in love with each other and we don't give a damn if it's an illicit and forbidden love. So you won't tell anyone unless you wish to die a painful death.
Secondly, Min, you have teased me merciless this week, you are hot and I am a healthy man with needs. Yoochun, why are you still standing here?"
Yoochun quickly left and Jaejoong kissed your cheek. You sighed.
"Here I thought your first "I love you" would be more romantic."
He smirked.
"Here I thought you weren't a romantic girl dreaming of romantic first kisses..."
You pouted. With sad, sad eyes. He sighed.
"Well, technically speaking, I didn't say it. I said I loved him."
You snorted but admitted he had a point. That didn't mean you wouldn't make him pay for it. Later. Now you only wanted to savour him warmth. You nuzzled against him and he kissed the top of your head. You were so comfortable that you fell asleep for the third time.
*
When you were eating the next evening, you still couldn't believe you had slept so much, you didn't think much about the rain pouring down, you could only think about your Hyung and the surprise you had begun to plan for him.
When you told Yoochun you wanted to go out for a while, he looked at you suspiciously.
"It's late. Why do you need to go out?"
You answered evasively about needing a "thing" for being able to do "something" for "someone". He closed his eyes and shrugged.
"Not like I understand, but whatever makes you happy."
You smiled, feeling he wasn't only talking about you going out.
When you were waiting under the rain for the traffic lights to become green, an umbrella made you turn around to a frowning Jaejoong.
"Thanks."
"Thanks?! You irresponsible little...! What if you caught a flu?!"
"Well, I am a lucky person to have you take care of me. Fortunately you love him."
He sighed.
"I knew this would come back to me... And by the way where are you going?"
"Somewhere. I have got to go. It's green."
"Wait a..."
You began to run but not before turning a last time towards him. You smirked.
"Don't forget me and begin to love him."
When crossing the street, you didn't see the car coming, but you heard Jaejoong's screams.
Right before being run over, you could only see the horror in Jaejoong's eyes.
Then there was nothing.
When you regained consciousness, you couldn't open your eyes. You felt so heavy you thought it was as if earth gravity had increased while you slept.
When you woke up again, your eyelids didn't weighed so much anymore so you saw white. You quickly closed your eyes - it hurt - but reopened after a while. Then you blinked once, twice or perhaps more and the white smear took shape of a ceiling with neon lights. Someone was talking. You tried to turn your head but you felt sick. Out of the corner of your eyes, you could distinguish an i.v. drip. You felt tired. You slowly fell asleep again but not before hearing startled voices.
When you became awake for the third time, you felt a hand holding yours. Feeling better enough to turn your head, you looked at two wide open eyes. The hand squeezed yours and tears ran from the eyes.
"Oh! Min. I... I was so afraid of losing you. We were all afraid."
He smiled fondly.
"But you are awake now and it will be like a bad dream we will soon forget."
You frowned. You were confused. Your lips opened but no sound came out. You tried again but your throat was raspy and hurt.
"Wait a second. I will get you some water. It will help."
You downed a few gulps. Then you finally asked what was on your mind since the last time you woke up.
"Who are you?"
When you lost your memories you couldn't really understand the look of pained irony painted on his face. It wasn't your fault, really.
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