Fic: unfinished bits (slight jaemin, yoomin)

[evangellie.livejournal.com]

Very short bits. Written in 2007. Not beta-ed. Will probably remain forever unfinished and that's why I'm posting them. (Also: taking requests)


Part of the in_vazn's series: "Truth Hurts."

The day he had realised that he would die, really die, he hadn't had the courage to confront Jaejoong. He had lied to him. He had been a coward and he still was as he tried to lie to himself this time. It didn't work and each time he saw Jaejoong, he wanted to hold him and never let go. When he finally loosened his grip from the fabric of Jaejoong's coat -- he was joking about Changmin behaving like a kid -- he felt the precious seconds separating him from death fly away.

"Are you all right?" Yunho had stayed behind and was now looking at him with a concerned expression on his face.

"Yeah," responded Changmin, looking away.

"That was a no in Changminnie's language." Yunho sat down next to the bed. "What's on your mind?"

Changmin stared at his blanket, letting his fingers play with the fabric.





The beginning of an au for simp_anna. I don't even remember where I wanted to go with this one...

0

Changmin's eyes had retained his tears when Yunho had told him about Yoochun's fate. For the first time in his long life, Changmin thought that God was unfair. But he squashed that thought as soon as it came to his mind. Or at least tried to. It was too late, the doubt had already germinated in him and he often found himself thinking about Yoochun's case.


*


Jaejoong was a mystery for Yoochun but it was part of his charm. Mysterious and dark, were the feelings he gave people but Yoochun liked to think that he was soft on the inside. After all, Jaejoong had taken in him after he had lost everything.


*

Yunho was worried about Changmin. Since Yoochun's incident, this one had taken the double of workload, as if helping all these persons would help Yoochun. Changmin dismissed his concern with a large smile and "what could happen to me anyway?" Yunho thought that, indeed, he was being stupid; they were angels after all.


*

Yoochun. One of his current target. There was nothing to worry about; the plan was going as smoothly as it possibly could. The poor guy was so sickingly naïve -- thinking he was nice -- but there was something about him he just couldn't put the finger on. But of what use would it be to discover it anyway? He just had to do his job. That was all.

Comments

[simp-anna.livejournal.com]

no prob, i'll login too then :D

[evangellie.livejournal.com]

Trying to make it work (it's the first time I open it from this computer.)

[simp-anna.livejournal.com]

haha i got a hard time making mine work too on the new computer. i'm reading your draft (almost done) and don't worry, you've got nothing to be nervous about ;)

[simp-anna.livejournal.com]

finished reading!

it's really good. i love how you worked on the action, it's going fast but that's a good thing and you made a very good job on changmin's pov as it's easy to grasp his fear and surprise and everything. just a little something, maybe showing more shock when he realizes the man is yunho? or maybe you made it on purpose, it comes out a little as if he had been expecting it in a way? but that's the only thing. the writing is really good and omgomgomg the girl oo i was so surprised when he shot her, just like that omg oo that was awesome!

[evangellie.livejournal.com]

(a few seconds more, I think to be connected.)

This is the first time I'm writing something with action (as you know I'm more of the fluff/angst kind, with lots of dialogues and small gestures). So yey if it flows well? Ok. Yeah, he'd probably be speechless and surprised (and more shocked) for more time than I made him to be. xDD This is "evil!not-yunho". :P (Changmin wants to smash his head against a wall to wake up, I think.)

[simp-anna.livejournal.com]

this is really great for a first time at writing action. (i'm more of the action/angst type in general. and smut. hum. but i haven't written action in ages and i feel like i suck at it now :/) and yeah it does flow well and it's good that you're not into the "great clichés of the hold-up plot", first with changmin actually hiding/getting hidden at the beginning and not being all heroic immediately which would be too much. yes exactly, i see him as more speechless, like really wtf-ing but so much that he can't even talk 'cause he's supposed to know yunho well and all and hadn't even seen that one coming. or something lol. omg evil!not-yunho is... really evil. very interesting though!

[evangellie.livejournal.com]

Thank you a lot. This is a major step for me since it's been ages I've not written and with a new genre. I really can't see anyone in rl being really heroic (at first at least). You don't suck at all! I'm sure it's only a "bloquage" or something temporary anyway. I feel so awkward writing smut (but I've intention writing smut in this fic. And kinky one. ;_;). On it then!