this is really great for a first time at writing action. (i'm more of the action/angst type in general. and smut. hum. but i haven't written action in ages and i feel like i suck at it now :/) and yeah it does flow well and it's good that you're not into the "great clichés of the hold-up plot", first with changmin actually hiding/getting hidden at the beginning and not being all heroic immediately which would be too much. yes exactly, i see him as more speechless, like really wtf-ing but so much that he can't even talk 'cause he's supposed to know yunho well and all and hadn't even seen that one coming. or something lol. omg evil!not-yunho is... really evil. very interesting though!