ext_25499: aoi yuu (~arashi)
[identity profile] evangellie.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] nuagedeau
sakumiya, (blink and miss it) aiba/jun, ot5 friendship
hearing impairment, blindness
1,221 words
Not beta-ed because i don't have an arashi-fic beta, yet.

Follows Scribbles in the fog, and But the eyes are blind

(au) Nino isn't sad but he can't help but wonder what it feels like. He imagines that words are like shapes and that everyone has a unique way of coloring them with their voices. Also Aiba and Jun talk about the past.

The first time Sho convinces Nino to let him hear his voice, it’s like a croak, raspy from misuse, and it’s also very very quiet. All the while Nino is playing with his cards and doesn’t look up until Sho taps his shoulder to catch his attention and signs: I like your voice

Nino has never been able to hear, which doesn’t mean that the idea of sound doesn’t intrigue him. He doesn’t miss it, obviously, because you can’t miss what you’ve never had. He does wonder how it would feel like to hear when Sho lets him press his fingers against his throat while he speaks.

The vibrations under his fingertips are similar to the ones he feels when he tries to use his own voice. He does it when he is alone, locked in the bathroom, his fingers on his own throat.

He imagines that words are like shapes and that everyone has a unique way of coloring them with their voices. Ohno would definitively be blue and Sho something warm but not bright and maybe a bit boring, like brown.

Once, he tells his theory to Aiba. Aiba seems to think about it for a while before he replies. If words can be signs or marks on a paper, they could be colors too. Then he wonders whether they could make a machine that would transform sounds into drawings. He knows there is one that transforms screams into paper cups; he read it on the internet once. Nino nods even though it’s not exactly what he meant but he is not sure what he means anyway.

My voice would have been yellow or green maybe, Aiba signs. I wonder about yours?

Nino shakes his head at the suggestion and it reminds him that Aiba used to talk. He always looks so sad, though, when he is thinking about voices and speaking or the past that Nino has never asked why he ever stopped. Aiba tells everyone about everything all the time; if there’s one thing he would rather keep for himself, Nino will let him.

Sho is another story, but after all he has just met Aiba so he doesn’t know like Nino knows. Nino doesn’t need to hear to guess what Sho has just asked Aiba when he watches Aiba tense.

He is surprised, however, when he sees Aiba reply on a piece of paper.

there was a fire and my parents died. i got my awesome grand-parents though!!!!! but it’s like the words have gotten stuck to my throat somehow. :O

Aiba tells him later, when Sho is gone, that if Nino thinks voices are like watercolors then Aiba’s is probably grey after all, like dirt and smoke and ruins. It’s like the memories are burning his throat until only ashes are left. Nino doesn’t know what to reply so he hugs Aiba and shows him a new magic trick.

It’s not the same with Jun because Sho has learnt to just wait like Ohno does. They are all here when Jun tells them about the accident, his father falling asleep at the wheel, and how he had moved around a lot, his parents searching for a way to recover his sight.

Unlike Nino, he does miss it, seeing people’s face, the landscapes or just where the next wall is.

Jun seems to regret those last words because he awkwardly adds that he might get a guide dog but he isn’t sure because animals don’t usually like him.

Aiba excitedly makes Sho tell Jun that he should ask for a monkey instead and Sho has to ask Aiba to write it down because he is not sure he understands everything. Because they are better to help fetch stuff than dogs!!!!

Nino signs that maybe Aiba can be Jun’s monkey. Aiba nods approvingly but Sho flatly refuses to report it to Jun.

Nino asks Aiba which color Jun’s voice is to distract Aiba from the new idea, not because he feels responsible for it but because he is genuinely curious. Sho looks at Nino weirdly but Aiba replies almost immediately purple.

Nino thinks it’s a weird color for a voice.

They are sitting on Nino’s bed with the lights on. Nino is cross-legged and bored because Sho is leaning on pillows and finishing one of his readings for a lecture the day after. He decides on making hand shadows to pass the time. A rabbit. A bird. A dog. A dog that tries to bite Sho.

The dog reminds him of Jun, which reminds him of Aiba’s purple and grey but also of his simple question.

I wonder about yours?

Nino also wonders. It’s fun to imagine Sho’s or Ohno’s but he has never been able to think about his own.

He taps on Sho’s shoulder. Sho signs him one more second but Nino feels restless so he doesn’t stop poking until Sho sighs and puts his book down on the nightstand. He straightens, pushes his glasses back up his nose and looks at Nino.

Nino makes another dog that also tries to bite Sho. Sho lets out a small smile but Nino can see he is slightly annoyed too because instead of waiting for Nino to talk he asks ‘what’s wrong?

You’ve heard my voice, right?

Sho pushes his glasses up again as he nods.

Then what color do you think it is?


Nino plays with his fingers before he signs, I imagine that words are like shapes, and voices like colors.

‘Oh,’ Sho says. One of his hands comes to rest on his mouth. He is looking up and away as he thinks so Nino can’t tell him that it’s a silly idea after all, so he just waits, watching Sho’s finger gently tap against his lip.

Light blue maybe? Sho finally signs. It’s not that Nino has a clear idea of what he expected but that’s probably not it.

Light blue?

Yeah, I don’t know. Don’t you like it?

Isn’t Ohno’s blue?

Ah, really? I don’t know. Sho scratched the back of his head before he goes on: I’m not good at those things.

Then what would be Ohno’s?

Ohno would probably be green. Nino is surprised at the rapidity of Sho’s answer but Sho continues. But I wonder about Aiba’s. Sho laughs suddenly. Jun is definitively purple.

That’s what Aiba said.

Really? Maybe it’s because Jun wears a lot of purple.

Now that he thinks about it, Nino wonders how Jun choses his clothes. Does someone help him? Maybe he keeps his clothes in a color coded order?

Sho taps his shoulder and Nino looks at him. What did he say about mine?

We didn’t talk about yours, Mr Flying.

Sho is only slightly scowling but it’s enough for Nino to laugh because he ends up looking like a middle-aged professor.

Mine would be red or—



Sho’s scowling deepens and Nino isn’t sure if it’s because of the color itself or because Sho hasn’t recognized the sign so he grabs the notebook and pen on the bedside table and writes brown like that disgusting coffee you drink. like that worn-out coat you stubbornly wear. like that chocolate you gobble at the library. lik——

Sho has snatched the notebook and there is a long line across the page. Sho’s frown starts by deepening even further, if that’s even possible, but then it slowly smoothens over until Sho’s lips quirk upward. He pinches his lips to stop the smile from spreading but Nino sees it anyway.

Why light blue then? Nino can't help himself but ask.

Sho hesitates for a few seconds. Because it’s soft.

Notes: the machine Aiba talks about exists: the Screaming Room is a room made with potatoes, sound proof with computer program to transform your scream in a unique cup of tea. Also a bonus: Sho with the glasses Nino chose. By the way, any requests of something you want to see happen in this universe?

Sequel: It's not fair

Date: 2012-08-31 12:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] j-sei.livejournal.com
Sho's voice color is brown? *laugh* I kind of imagine it like navy blue..

Date: 2012-08-31 07:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] j-sei.livejournal.com
Yup yup, when I tried to think Sho-chan from Nino's perspective I think brown will match his personality. I said navy blue because his deep voice really attract people *I think* especially in low keys..

I'm kind of surprise with Nino's light blue too but I have no other color to describe his voice, especially after I know why Sho-chan said so. Because it’s soft.
Hmm, maybe if I think of soft it's more like sea color that comes to my mind.. Haha :D

Date: 2012-08-31 08:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] j-sei.livejournal.com
Haha, it is XD
You're right about Sho can't really explain it.
And deep in Nino's voice, I interpret you take it from his singing voice?
Because I think his singing voice can have many meaning behind it. Eh, what I'm talking about right now XD *biased*

Date: 2012-08-31 08:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] j-sei.livejournal.com
Oh, so that's what you mean by deep. I think so too. Sometimes when I read his interview or group interview, I really didn't expect his answers. Think about it, the one I really can't grab is Ohno. Sometimes I tried writing, although I'm not really succeed and left it halfway, and I have difficulties to express him..

Date: 2012-08-31 09:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] j-sei.livejournal.com
Haha, I know what you mean. Every time I said to myself "this time I will tried Ohno", after that my mind become blank in front of my laptop XD
His color? Sky blue or young leaf color. I think if I can see his voice, his will be too blind but at the same time it will have soothing presence. Where I will be attracted to come close although it will blinding me..

Date: 2012-08-31 09:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] j-sei.livejournal.com
Hehe, nice to talk with you too :)

Date: 2012-08-31 12:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] muohcu-t.livejournal.com
Oh, damn, I'm falling in love with this universe

Date: 2012-08-31 01:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ministryofbees.livejournal.com
Poor Aiba. But lol, Jun's monkey XD

Kinda lost it when I read about the room made with potatoes 8D

How about developing Junba's relationship? And maybe something big, like Sho's parents finding out and disapproving.

You distracted me from doing my Chemistry homework. Thank you very much. :D

Date: 2012-08-31 01:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ylunio.livejournal.com
I can't get tired of this AU, really. And of your writing style.
Everything is so soft and it makes me feel so good.. :)
Nino's way of thinking is unique and Sho is so boring XD but I like how he seems to try to imagine something, how he tries to be close to Nino's imaginary world, somehow, a world made of colorful voices In spite of not being able to talk and to listen, Nino is full of words and thoughts. And even though Sho thinks too much, he is not very good when it comes to express his feelings. But I’m loving the chemistry of this pairing. Again, not my favorite, I rarely read Sakumiya, but I love this AU.

Date: 2012-08-31 02:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yuui1010.livejournal.com
Love this AU so much, this chapter is so heartwarming, after reading it, it make me smile :)
Sakumiya is really adorable. I love this pairing and really need more of them >.

Date: 2012-08-31 04:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tangiblewhimsy.livejournal.com
I am enjoying this AU. Once, long, long ago I toyed with the idea of writing something that involved signing and hearing impairment, but I never got around to it. I think Nino was going to be deaf in that story too, but his focus was going to be on Ohno rather than Sho because of Ohno's pretty, pretty fingers. /lamebias

I like the atmosphere you've managed to build up even with three short pieces. The setting feels very complete and natural so it's easy enough to concentrate on thet characters and their interactions as the main focus. I read all three, but I'm only commenting on this one because I don't want to spam you at all.

I like Sho and Nino's dynamic. I love that even though Nino is deaf he has not lost any part of what feels like what it means to be Nino. Whenever Nino is used in fic as having some kind of impairment it usually transforms him into this rather pathetic, self-hating... thing. Your Nino is just Nino, this one just happens to be deaf. I appreciate that a great deal. ♥

The same can be said for the rest of them, too. I like how you show things building in the background, like Aiba and Jun, or Sho's fear of blindness coupled with his weakening vision. I also appreciate that you don't have everyone signing at everyone like it's a seamless form of communication. Even for the ones who have been signing for quite some time there are moments where they pause and go "...Wait, what?" and as someone who grew up around people signing I feel that it has a real sense of truth to it.


I'll stop yaking at you, I just wanted to say that I'm enjoying this AU. I'd also be interested in knowing how Ohno got introduced to the group, since he was at the DRC with Aiba but does not appear to have any overt physical disability.

Date: 2012-09-01 03:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tangiblewhimsy.livejournal.com
Who wouldn't be mesmerized by these things signing? (http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/tangiblewhimsy/18140490/180522/180522_600.jpg) +_+

AUs are tricky things because there are some writers who will use an Alternate Universe as an excuse to completely rewrite a character's personality. While some adjustments can be made depending on circumstances, the general framework of how someone behaves, who that person is, is fairly static in my opinion. I like that you have Nino still be snarky and somewhat temperamental, I like how he's pushy and clingy and I loved how he was willing to turn out the light for Sho so that he'd keep coming over, even though he's afraid of the dark. (I'd like to know if there's a reason for that, btw. It seems oddly specific. Sho's fear I get, but Nino's seems like a conditioned response and I'm curious about it.)

If you have the time or inclination, there's a really good documentary about deaf culture and deaf performers in entertainment called "See What I'm Saying?: The Deaf Entertainer's Documentary". It's about 90 minutes long and it's a really interesting look at what it means to be deaf and/or hard of hearing and it makes some really great points clear about how there is no universal sign language and things change from country to country or even from region to region.

XD I'm glad to hear that you enjoy my work! I, too, love and appreciate comments and do my best to respond to them in kind. So if you find the time, I'd love to hear from you in the future. I also look forward to future installments of this AU~

Date: 2012-08-31 04:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] askina-spn.livejournal.com
I love this AU. At first I thought that it was too angsty for me but then I continued and... woah. Thanks.

Date: 2012-08-31 05:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] obstilation.livejournal.com
I've been reading since 'scribbles in the fog' and I just have to let you know that I absolutely adore this universe. Shoneen's relationship is just so... right.

I really liked this (along with the rest that are part of this universe) a lot. Thank you for sharing!

Date: 2012-08-31 11:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chibipinkpetals.livejournal.com
this is lovely. ♥♥
i love how Nino wants to decipher his own color and in the process, dragging everyone in. :D

love the Sakumiya moment. Nino's shadow dog trying to bite Sho for the lack of attention.

thanks for sharing :)

Date: 2012-09-01 07:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] syri-chii.livejournal.com
There's something in this universe that makes me feel so calm while reading and afterwards makes me feel bittersweet when everything I've read settled down. I don't think I'll get tired reading this.

He imagines that words are like shapes and that everyone has a unique way of coloring them with their voices.
- I, just love this line.

Date: 2012-09-01 10:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lalla-chan.livejournal.com
I loved this :D !
I never though about the color of voices actually, but it's fun to try to find them :D.
For nino I can't realy think about anything other than yellow, because it's high pitched and strong (? maybe not the right word).. It's hard to explain :D (and arashi's colors influenced me too much xD) !
I loved nino's reasons for Sho's to be brown, I love their (your) story !
Thanks for sharing :) (hope there is another part of this !! :)

Date: 2012-09-01 01:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lalla-chan.livejournal.com
Mmmh, yeah clear and eotionnal both works that's true, it's hard to describe with only one word. Clear and high, almost too high but doesn't get annoying, that's how I see yellow I think. I suppose this is very subjective :)
But I can understand why you said light blue too, especialy in this fiction :) !
(oh I forgot to say I loved sho's glasses :D)
I'll be waiting for it :)

Date: 2012-09-01 05:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jellybean6972.livejournal.com
This AU, gah, I just love it.

Thanks so much for sharing :D

Date: 2012-09-27 02:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] himeluvzu.livejournal.com
this reminds me of the book Perks of Being a Wallflower
and I really like it.

The last line is so nice~!
Now, I'm wondering what is the color of my voice. :)

Date: 2012-10-01 07:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] himeluvzu.livejournal.com
read it! it is one of the best teen genre books
and it already have a movie starring Emma Watson and Logan Lerman

it is kinda hard thinking about it yourself ne :)


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