ext_25499: aoi yuu (~arashi)
[identity profile] evangellie.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] nuagedeau
On the Back of a Couch (1/4)
changmin/matsumoto jun (I KNOW), changmin/woman, changmin/satoshi tsumabuki
swearing, sexual situations, homophobic behaviour, minor violence
21'170 words
thanks to [livejournal.com profile] simp_anna for the support and advice. ♥ also it's all her fault, just to be clear.
thanks a lot to [livejournal.com profile] mistingdreams for her beta-ing. :D

Jun wants Changmin, Changmin is confused, Yunho is less than helpful and Ninomiya is a brat, i.e. Jun and Changmin somehow end up having a secret casual relationship. (non-au)

Slightly long but necessary notes: This is so not what I usually write but I wanted to try something different (present tense, general style, Arashi, amount of porn...). And now I'm going to be that girl who writes crazy pairings. :O

If you don't know about DBSK, you will also be able to follow the story but more information about them. It's pre-messy-break up because I can't find any post-break up ones, but short version: Changmin and Yunho are now DBSK by themselves: HERE!

Anyway, even if you don't know Arashi you will still be able to understand the story but there is some information about them HERE, if you are curious.  

Also, appearances by EITAOGURI SHUN and the FLY WITH THE GOLD's cast & references to:
- Arashi's Beautiful World concert: JUN WEARING THE FIRST OUTFIT, Jun's solo SHAKE ITand what I have dubbed as THE WORSE-THAN-CURTAIN!OUTFITS (and the BALLOONS).

Changmin is in the middle of a photoshoot when his phone vibrates against the table next to where Yunho is resting. Yunho takes the phone and frowns at the name that flashes on the screen. Matsumoto Jun. He is from one of the top idols group in Japan, Arashi was it?

Changmin comes back smirking —he has done a great shot— but his smirk is quick to fall away into a frown when he sees the phone in Yunho’s hands.

‘What are you…‘

He grabs the phone successfully, Yunho offering no resistance. He cringes when he glances at the screen before he shoves the phone away into his pocket. Only the highly fashionable design he is wearing hasn’t got any pockets so the phone is sent spiraling onto the floor.

Yunho quirks an eyebrow at him. ‘What’s with this reaction?’

Changmin bends down and retrieves his phone. ‘You know better than to look at my stuff.’

‘Well, sorry. It was reflex.’

Yunho looks sheepish enough that Changmin lightens up slightly. ‘It’s a reflex to look at my stuff?’

Yunho quickly waves his hands in denial. ‘No! Ahh.. You know what I mean. It’s a reflex to look at a phone when it vibrates or rings.’

‘Whatever. It’s your turn to shoot and I’m done so I’m leaving first.’

‘You’re not waiting for me?’

They both hear a staff calling Yunho-san and Changmin takes the cue. ‘They are not waiting for you.’


Changmin raises his arm as he leaves the set to go change.

Once the door of their green room he securely locked, he looks at his phone.

One message. Matsumoto Jun.

Changmin bites his lower lip as he opens it. Tonight, my place, at 9pm?

He releases his lip from between his teeth. ok.

The screen flashes again for a few seconds: message sent. He groans and lets himself fall onto the sofa, clutching his phone to his chest, one arm across his face.

What the hell is he doing?


First, it had only been some glances. Changmin catches him looking at him during the shooting of Music Station while they sit on the background listening to the members of Perfume being interviewed by Tamori-san about remarkable incidents related to food —one of them broke her teeth while eating an apple somehow, it seems.

Their eyes meeting would have been ok by itself, but Matsumoto doesn’t let go of his gaze for many seconds, too many for Changmin, until the camera is on them. Changmin feels himself flush. The staring was intense and it perturbs him, making him stumble on his words when Tamori-san directs himself to him, asking if he has finally found ramen that is too spicy for his taste buds.

Changmin’s words are stuck in his throat for a second —well, long enough for Yunho to elbow him— before he is finally laughing, saying that he hasn’t yet but not for the sake of trying.

Matsumoto suddenly joins in the conversation with the suggestion of a place, and if he has tried it? No, he hasn’t. Then they definitively should go sometimes. Changmin stays speechless while Yunho suggests they should all go together, definitively. Matsumoto agrees, joking that they would make Leader pay. One of them pulls a face —Ohno-san, Arashi’s leader, supplies Changmin’s brain— and everyone in the studio laughs.

Changmin feels Matsumoto’s gaze follow him backstage. He hurriedly leaves, muttering a small bathroom to Yunho in passing. Yunho nods before smiling to the members of Arashi, probably exchanging numbers or something. Maybe. Changmin doesn’t really care though he knows he should. Being friends with a top idol group could only benefit their career. He sighs but still hurries to his dressing room.

Later, he does get scolded by Yunho though, albeit gently, for freezing on camera and not being nice to them. They absolutely need to at least appear friendly on camera. Arashi has got a wide fan-base. Changmin nods.

Yunho mutters, ‘Oh well, I did damage control already.’

He is used to Changmin being misunderstood. It doesn’t mean that it doesn’t bother him, though, Changmin guesses.


The small incident has left his mind until he runs into Matsumoto again, in a studio building. Yunho’s words are ringing in his mind – be friendly, networking is crucial, remember.

So he tries. He stops, bows and thanks him for his ramen recommendation from last time. Jun nods and then hesitates for a few seconds before asking: ‘Are you free? Do you want to grab a drink with a few friends of mine?’

Be friendly. Network. Changmin repeats the words in his mind. ‘All right. Yeah. Why not?’

‘Then should we exchange numbers to meet later?’

Changmin nods and they do.

‘Ok then. See you later.’

Changmin nods, and they both go in the opposite direction from each other.

During the meeting about the programs in which he will appear to promote his film Fly with The Gold, he replays the exchange in his head. Nothing had seemed strange. Maybe the gazing thing had been a trick of his imagination after all.

Changmin sighs and everyone looks at him.

‘Are we boring you?’

He apologizes, bowing deeply. Tsumabuki laughs at him before scolding him lightly.

‘You looked way in the clouds. Focus or we are going to lose.’

Changmin blinks. ‘Lose?’

‘Yeah, we are talking about one variety where we have to play games, haven’t you listened? I guess not though.’


The staff laugh when Kiritani comments that maybe they will have a shot at winning then, if Changmin get this distracted during the shooting. This doesn’t make sense to Changmin but he shrugs before asking: ‘What else is there?’

‘Well, we were planning to do some shows by splitting you all and–‘

Changmin does his best to concentrate and takes a few notes.


Yunho and Changmin are sitting on the floor in their living room having late dinner when his phone vibrates in his pocket. He takes it out and nearly chokes on his food, Matsumoto Jun. A message. We are meeting directly at the bar Rainy Night, at 9pm, if you still want to join us.

‘What is it?’

Count on Yunho to be nosy.

‘You remember Matsumoto Jun? I ran into him before the meeting I had with the film crew earlier and he asked me if I wanted to go out with friends for a few drinks.’

‘Oh, that’s good.’

‘But tomorrow we have—’

‘You should definitively go. Don’t worry. We don’t have a performance, just rehearsals and interviews.’

‘But I wanted to catch an early night because of all the promotional activities for the film…’

Yunho puts his chopsticks down, a serious look on his face. Changmin wants to scowl but manages to school his features into an expression he hopes is neutral.

‘Come on Changmin. This is good for us. You know I do a lot of that stuff nowadays…’

He knows, of course. Now that they are only the two of them and that Yunho is stuck with asocial and awkward Changmin. Yes, he hears the subtext loud and clear.

‘Ok, ok. Do you know…’ Changmin glances down at his phone. ‘What and where is Rainy Night?’

Yunho’s expression seems to relax and he resumes eating.

‘Oh, it’s a nice bar in a hidden corner of Roppongi’

‘How nice?’

‘No dress code, it’s casual.’

One hour later, Changmin quickly changes into a nice pair of black jeans, slightly on the tight side, and a blue light sweater with stripes. He grabs his leather jacket which is warm enough for the cold weather and leaves.


A taxi later, he is in front of the bar. It’s 9.16pm. Not too early nor too late. Changmin wrings his hands together before pushing the door open. Why is he so nervous? He removes his sunglasses to take in the dimmed lights and the sleek decors. Be confident. He takes a deep breath and quickly makes his way inside.

There aren’t that many people and the people that are here are too busy to notice him or too famous to care. He scans the crowd until his eyes fall on Matsumoto who is waving at him from a booth at the very back of the club.

There are two more people with him. Their faces are familiar but their names escape him. They all have drinks in their hands and Matsumoto’s eyes are slightly too bright. Changmin feels hot under his jacket.

‘Shim Changmin meet my friends Eita and Oguri Shun. Friends meet Shim Changmin.’

Changmin bows, ‘Nice to meet you.’

Oguri stands up to bow and is followed by everyone else except Matsumoto who laughs. Changmin is surprised by the carefree look on his face.

‘Why are you all so formal? We aren’t at work. Yet.’

‘Yet?’ asks Changmin.

Jun looks surprised at Changmin’s cluelessness. ‘I’ve heard you’re coming to VS Arashi.’

Changmin tries to rack his brain but he remains confused.

Oguri lets out a small laugh. ‘Looks like he has no idea.’

‘Ah, there’re so many promotional activities. I’m not sure…’

Changmin scratches the back of his head but Jun shrugs.

‘It doesn’t matter. Do you want to sit down perhaps?’


Oguri scoots to his right while Changmin takes off his jacket and he soon finds himself next to him, facing Matsumoto, who has Eita sitting next to him.

‘I bet he is going to be good at Cliff Climb with those legs. You better be careful Jun or you’re gonna lose,’ says Oguri.

‘Again.’ Eita’s voice is quiet but clear and hints at his amusement.

‘Don’t laugh. I do normally ok at everything but with Sho-san and… don’t repeat it… but the plus-one guests are normally not helpful and more like weight we have to pull.’

Oguri lets out a chuckle. ‘Poor Sakurai-san. But he does exaggerate, right? For the entertainment factor?’

‘With the years it’s become more difficult to know if he is acting or if he is really failing.’ Jun smirks. ‘I think he is failing more and more, to be honest.’

‘I don’t want to interrupt you both but Changmin-san looks completely lost.’ Eita looks at him questioningly, ‘Can I call you that? How old are you?’

‘I was born in 1988.’

‘Then you’re definitively younger than us. Changmin-kun it is, then?’ Jun says.

‘Ah, I guess that’s fine. I’ll go order a drink.’

Changmin nearly flees from his seat and takes refuge at the bar. He needs something strong. He asks for a gin tonic and while he waits for the bartender to serve him his drink, his gaze wanders around and he takes in the different people in the club. People drinking, laughing. Someone whispering into someone’s else’s ear some sort of banality, probably.

He is startled by the sudden voice close to his own ear.

‘Everything ok? You nearly ran to the bar.’

Changmin turns around and meet Matsumoto’s eyes before his gaze follows the hand that now rests next to him on the counter.

‘I’m fine. Just thirsty.’

‘Here you go’.

Changmin looks back in time to smile at the bartender, slipping money on the counter. He takes a sip from his drink and throws a small smile at Matsumoto. Matsumoto smiles back but it’s bigger and more genuine than his. Changmin bites the inside of his cheek and Matsumoto nods towards the booth.

‘Let’s head back then.’

In the end, it’s not too bad, Changmin thinks. Eita is quite like him and has the same taste in films; he even recommends some titles to him, that Changmin promises to watch and give feedback to Eita, which prompts an exchange of numbers with everyone.

Half way through Oguri-san has turned into Shun-san and Matsumoto-san into Jun-san. They both fill the silence with their memories in what seems like a one-upmanship on whom can embarrass the other further.

Changmin feels himself breathless from laughing at one of Shun’s anecdote and shakes his head to clear his sight but the movement makes him feel dizzy and he probably has had too much to drink and he is so so going to have hangover tomorrow and his day is going to be miserable… He gets up unsteadily and signals towards the bathroom.

Once there he splashes his face with cold water. It doesn’t seem to do him any good as he looks back at himself in the mirror and finds that the droplet going down his nose is hilarious. Maybe once more then. He splashes his face again and when he looks back into the mirror, he is startled when his gaze falls on Jun, who is now standing right behind him.

‘You alright?’

Changmin decides that this time he won’t lose the staring contest. ‘Yeah.’

Jun takes a step towards him and it’s too much. Changmin whirls around. ‘What are you doing?’

He smiles sloppily and Changmin realizes that he is maybe as intoxicated as he is. He takes another step and he is close enough that Changmin has to look down. Jun’s right hand is on his nape, pulling him down to meet his lips and Changmin lets him.

It’s a surprisingly soft kiss and it clashes with Changmin’s image of Jun being passionate. His lips are pressing against his and Changmin feels self-conscious about his chapped lips for a split second before Jun licks them. Changmin feels his knees weakening and he can’t really think anymore so he parts his lips and Jun suddenly is passionate and pressing him against the sink.

He wants to complain about the sink digging in his back but Jun’s mouth is so very warm against his and his right hand has slid into his hair and his left hand on his hip and he can feel his body pressed tightly against him and oh god—

The sound of the door opening seems to wake him and he pushes Jun away, maybe a bit too strongly as Jun falls down in front of a stall. He can’t really think of what to do so he runs into a surprised Shun on his way out.

It’s only when he is safely tucked into a taxi that he remembers his forgotten jacket. He pats his pockets; he has his phone, keys and wallet so who cares about a fucking jacket when he has just kissed a man. Well, it was a man that kissed him but that just semantics and he is only kidding himself if he thinks that whom kissed whom first matters since he kissed back anyway.

Fuck. He lets his head fall into his hands, rubbing his fingers tiredly over his eyes. There’s a dull throb pulsing behind them but he has definitively sobered up.


The next day, in the break room before a dance rehearsal, Changmin swallows the pills that Yunho hands him with a smirk.

Changmin wipes that water clinging to his lips with the back of his hand. ‘Your smile is worsening my headache so shut it.’

This makes Yunho’s smirk become even wider and creepier, in Changmin’s opinion.

He has also purposefully forgotten his phone at home so he can ignore the message that was there this morning when he woke, sneering at him, begging to be read.

Changmin lets himself fall on a seat in front of the table. He pulls out his schedule for the next three weeks out of a folder from his bag. His eyes go through it quickly and then he stares at it. Hard.

‘Is there a problem? You look like you want to set that piece of paper on fire.’

Changmin sighs and crumbles the paper before tossing it into the bin. His aim isn’t good so it falls on the floor a few inches to the left but it still feels good and he doesn’t care if he is being childish.

Yunho stoops down to take the paper and smoothen it into a readable form as Changmin let his head fall back, his gaze on the ceiling.

‘It looks like a perfectly normal schedule. It’s not too tight, is it?’

Changmin sighs.

Yunho scans the paper again, his finger sliding through the lines.

‘Next week you have a lot of promotion for your film but that’s not out of ordinary.’ His finger stops on a particular activity. ‘VS Arashi. What’s that? It sounds like… Is it related to that idol group?’

Changmin lets his head fall onto the table with a thump. Yunho sits down opposite to him, smoothing the paper on the table.

‘Didn’t you go for a drink, last night was it? With one of the guys?’


‘Is this what this is about? Was he mean to you?’

Changmin shakes his head, rubbing his forehead against the table. Yunho frowns.

‘Then what’s up?’

Changmin sighs and lifts his head to look at Yunho. ‘Nothing.’

But Yunho’s eyebrows goes up. He is not going to drop it.

‘I don’t know. It was fun but he just… he makes me feel uncomfortable for some reason.’

Changmin looks away and gets up, snatching the piece of paper from Yunho’s fingers. ‘Well, it doesn’t matter.’

Yunho looks skeptical. ‘If you say so.’

Changmin feels his temper rise but try to rein it in. After all, it’s not Yunho’s fault. ‘Well, I can’t avoid him so…’

‘Yeah, we are going to run into him quite a few times.’

Changmin can feel his headache coming back. Useless pills. ‘Anyway, let’s go rehearse.’

He manages to forget for a while —with the way his body is rebelling against yesterday’s abuse of alcohol, he has to concentrate ten-folds on his movements and his dancing is far from being fluid— but once he collapses to the floor, breathless and thirsty, he remembers the small mole Jun had on his upper lip and he buries his head into the towel that Yunho has just thrown at him, wishing the alcohol had also made his memory as crappy as his body.


It’s been three days and Changmin is sprawled on the sofa of the flat they have in Tokyo. He is playing with his phone, scrolling past messages from his mom enquiring about his health, Kyuhyun about whether they are going to play online soon, or his manager reminding him of his schedule. Only Jun’s message remains unopened. Changmin hesitates for a few seconds before scrolling past it with a sigh.

‘I’m going to throw your phone out of the window if I hear you sigh one more time.’ Yunho waves a score in front of him. ‘I’m trying to memorize those lyrics and maybe you should do the same instead of moping around.’

Changmin puts the phone on the floor and slides it away from him.

‘Is it a girl?’

Changmin sits up abruptly. ‘What? Why? No!’

Yunho gets up from his chair and sits down next to Changmin, an amused glint in his eyes.

‘I’ve never seen you like that… only when you have love problems.’ He elbows Changmin. ‘Come on, spill.’

Changmin slaps his elbow away, clutching his side in mock pain. ‘That hurts and I don’t have any love problems.’

‘You know you can tell me everything, right?’

Changmin recognizes Yunho’s insecurity and worry so he smiles, hoping it’s a reassuring one.

‘Yeah, I know. Don’t worry. It’s just… My friends are all in serious relationships, talking about getting married and having a family. I just wonder… ’

Yunho is probably not going to give up so easily if he doesn’t give him anything worthwhile and it’s not exactly a lie.

Yunho wraps an arm around Changmin’s shoulder.

‘Aww… Our Changminnie is all grown up.’ Changmin snorts but Yunho goes on: ‘Don’t worry about that. Maybe we will be a bit older when we get to have our family but it’s not a race to the finish line. We can take our time and we will probably be as happy as anyone else.’

Changmin smiles a bit. ‘Thanks, hyung,’ and, before Yunho can get smug, he adds: ‘I can always count on you to tell me mushy stories.’

Yunho slaps lightly the back of his head —‘You brat’— before he gets up and goes back to his lyrics.

Changmin catches himself rubbing his fingers against his lips and nearly sigh —he stops himself in time when Yunho throws him a look—and lets himself fall onto the couch once again.

He side-eyes his phone for a few minutes before he gets up to retrieve it. He glances at Yunho who now seems fully absorbed into his lyrics and finally opens the message.

are you ok? i got your jacket.

Changmin lets out a small laugh and now Yunho is definitively looking at him as if he were crazy.

Of course he was going to overthink things. He doesn’t delete the message however.


It’s the VS Arashi day and Changmin is waiting in the green room with his Fly with the Gold co-stars after a rehearsal. To tell the truth, the games they have to play against Arashi are, though silly, quite fun but it doesn’t ease his nervousness.

‘Stop tapping your fingers against the table. It will be fine.’

Changmin stills his fingers and looks back at Tsumabuki. ‘I know.’

He thinks Changmin is nervous because of the games but the rehearsal went fine and, really, he nailed the climbing, which is the only game he has a big part in.

He hasn’t time ponder more when there’s a knock at the door, which opens to reveal Jun holding his jacket. Changmin stands up quickly, his chair falling to floor in a loud clang. His co-stars look at him quizzically and he apologizes.

He bends down to pick up the chair to avoid looking at Jun. Jun seems to take the hint.

‘Changmin-kun, I’m leaving your jacket on the table.’

He hears Jun steps closer to him and gets up to nod, his eyes still downcast, and busies himself with the adjustment of the position of the chair.

There is a pause before Jun wishes good luck to everyone and leaves the room. Changmin’s heart is beating more wildly than when he was climbing the damn wall. This is embarrassing.

The others don’t dare to comment anything and finally it’s time for the shooting. Everything passes in a blur as Changmin does his best to not look like he would rather be anywhere else but there.

Thankfully, he is not the star and it’s mostly Tsumabuki and Kiritani who talk with Arashi and the atmosphere is actually nice and relaxed. The place where he sits to watch the games is moderately far from Jun so he is slowly enjoying the bantering and cheering for his team.

They win Dual Curling —in which the two teams do curling at the same time, it’s a rather clever concept— because Sakurai Sho fails miserably and Changmin wonders why they even let him play, not that Nishida is much better at it but Nishida doesn’t play those games every week. It has probably got to do with the way Sakurai seems to make fun of himself alongside the others, causing the studio to erupt in laughter, he thinks.

They also manage to win Pinball Runner and Changmin snickers at the thought that Tsumabuki looked like a hamster when running on the belt trying to catch the falling balls.

Then it’s time for the Cliff Climb and he is waiting with Kiritani at the bottom of the climbing wall. Sakurai comments that Kiritani has already completed the most difficult part of the wall perfectly so he is letting Changmin prove himself. Everyone laughs at Ninomiya’s comment that Kiritani is just lazy and pushing around his junior to avoid the dirty work.

‘Well, I can see why though, with those long legs,’ Ninomiya adds.

Changmin laughs, rubbing the back of his head, but his laughter strains when he hears Ninomiya asks Jun since you are the tallest of the group to go stand next to Changmin so they can compare their legs.

Changmin’s gaze flickers towards Jun who is now walking towards him. His breathing stops when Jun’s shoulder bumps against his as he stands next to him.

The audience oohs at Changmin’s legs and he feels a bit self-conscious.

‘Are you happy Nino?’

‘Aw… Jun-kun is embarrassed to be short.’

‘Seriously? This is what you conclude?’ Jun advances towards Ninomiya who tries to hide behind Ohno, but it’s useless and soon it’s Ninomiya who is standing next to Changmin and the studio roars with laughter at the obvious height difference.

Ninomiya pouts and Changmin bows to apologize but it just makes it worse since even when he is bowing, he remains taller. Ninomiya jokingly acts as if Changmin is too tall for him to slap before going back to his seat.

Kiritani slaps Changmin in the back. ‘Our Changmin is always so serious.’

Ninomiya’s joke made it possible for Changmin to relax a bit and he manages to somehow nail the climbing while ignoring Jun’s staring.

However, everything goes wrong with Kicking Snipper as Mizobata is the only one to barely kick 20 points off a target. There are comments about how Arashi hopes they are better at stealing gold than kicking balls.

The atmosphere is still light when they go to the next game but Changmin feels himself tense at the start of Rolling Coin Tower. Jun is right across him at the round table and his gaze makes it impossible for Changmin to concentrate, which is probably the skill most needed for the game.

It’s normal for him to look at him as I’m the one playing right now. It’s perfectly normal he says to himself in the middle of the game, but their eyes lock just as he is going to put a coin on the tower. Startled, his hand shakes. It’s slight but enough for him to knock the tower down.

This is what makes them lose in the end and so Changmin apologizes profusely but everyone laughs and Sakurai jokes that this time his height was useless since he knocked the tower way before it got high. Changmin glances at Jun, who is for once not looking at him, and laughs along, relieved that the shooting is over.


Work has been so awkward —though only his mind, probably— that he decides to ask his co-stars if they want to go out for drinks. Except for Nishida, it turns out they do but, somehow, and if Changmin knew how (but it probably has to do with Kiritani being so damn friendly with them) this wouldn’t have happened, Arashi has been invited to come along.

They agree and Changmin wants to curse at the people who decide the schedules, really. This means Jun will be there. Which means that his plan to escape from thinking of him is failing miserably. Escape. Escape.

‘Ah, I just remembered—‘

Tsumabuki interrupts, putting an arm around his shoulders to pull him towards the exit, along the small group. ‘Oh no. it’s your idea and you’re coming with us.’


‘Whatever, Changmin, not listening.’

They go to the same bar and Changmin is careful not to drink at first but his fellow actors, Tsumabuki more fiercely and effectively than the others, bully him into drinking and while Nino is like him and refrains to drink —lightweight shouts Aiba—, Aiba is crazy and nice and makes him drink, Sho also drinks a lot but has to leave early and apologizes probably too many times, and Ohno is mostly silent but once Asano hooks him to the topic of fish Changmin is surprised by the enthusiasm of his speech, and before he knows it he is drunk and Jun is looking at him with those eyes again and this is dangerous and when Aiba distracts Jun for a moment, Changmin mumbles something about getting some air. He gets up and takes his jacket this time —his keys, wallet and phone are in its pockets after all.

Tsumabuki’s gaze follows him but he doesn’t say anything and his other co-stars don’t pay attention to him so he might be able to get away this time. He feels bad to be this impolite but Jun unnerves like no one before and he will apologize later on, blaming it on the alcohol and lack of sleep and—

Lost in thoughts he runs into someone, stumbles and nearly falls if not for the hand holding his arm and steadying him.

Jun’s, of course. Changmin’s temper flares and he pulls his arm out of Jun’s grasp before throwing him a dark glare and walking away.

Jun doesn’t give up and follows him around while Changmin searches for a taxi. Changmin doesn’t give up either and so he determinately ignores him. Tries too. But somehow Jun climbs in the same taxi and doesn’t give him a chance to protest as he closes the door and tells the driver to drive away. Changmin can only gape as Jun gives the driver an address he doesn’t know.

‘What are you doing?’ Changmin does his best to control his voice; he doesn’t want to make a fuss in front of the driver, but it raises a bit too high towards the end of the question and he is probably being too loud if Jun’s wince is any indication.

Jun suddenly looks away as if he had lost his confidence but that can’t be, Changmin thinks. Who the fuck climbs in the same taxi of someone who is trying to avoid them?

‘You looked unsteady and I didn’t want to leave you alone.’

‘Oh really? So you are following me out of compassion and worry?’

Jun had the decency to remain silent. Changmin can’t help but wonder what goes on through his mind. They stay silent for few minutes.

‘I’m not a girl, you know.’

Jun lets out a small laugh and finally looks at him. ‘Oh, I know.’

Jun’s overall calmness is beginning to irk Changmin. ‘You know,’ he repeats, feeling his nerves beginning to fray, as if he were standing at the boarder of a precipice. ‘Then why?’

‘I don’t want girls. I want you.’

The response is simple and yet this is anything but simple, and Changmin can feel himself hyperventilating. At least, it feels like it. ‘You can’t.’

Jun only smiles at him and Changmin really wants to punch him but he is drunk, and thus probably uncoordinated, and they are in a taxi anyway.

‘You can’t’ he says again and looks away, out of the window, trying to calm his breathing. He wipes his sweaty hands on his trousers. It doesn’t really work though because he can still see Jun, who is looking at him as if he were a puzzle when the puzzle is Jun, reflected in the window.

‘We have arrived.’

Jun pays the driver; Changmin hears the exchange —keep the change— but he remains frozen until Jun opens the door on his side and offers his hand. Changmin ignores him as he steps out.

‘Where are we?’

The taxi pulls away and Jun’s hand slips on his elbow. He tries to lead him towards a high-rise building but Changmin wrenches himself out of his grasp. He is, after all, taller and stronger.

Jun stares at him. ‘At my place—‘


‘—you can sleep on the bed. I’ll take the couch, don’t worry.’

‘I…’ Changmin trips over his tongue.

Jun starts walking, nearly reaching the door. ‘You coming?’

He doesn’t know where he is. It’s November and fucking freezing outside. They are both men. He is taller and stronger anyway. Changmin ends up shrugging and stumbles —he might be drunker than he thought he was— the few steps that separate him from Jun.

The hallway is silent. Changmin nearly falls asleep against the wall of the elevator. Jun shakes him awake and he follows him silently in the hall to his flat. He looks at the floor the whole way and hears Jun’s keys jiggle when he unlocks the door and pushes it open.

‘Come in.’

Changmin stops himself on the threshold and looks at Jun. Jun cocks his head sideways, an inquisitive look on his face. His eyes, though, are still dark and intense.

Changmin might be drunker than he thought he was but maybe he isn’t and it is just an excuse. He could have not gone up to the home of someone he barely knows. He is taller and stronger after all, even when slightly drunk. He can still leave, if he wants to. He could even punch Jun.

Changmin sighs and Jun seems to sense his indecision so he reaches towards Changmin to grab his wrist and pulls him in. Changmin lets him and suddenly they are standing really close and Changmin has to close his eyes.

He feels as Jun steps closer, one arm going past him to shut the door. The noise of the door closing makes him jump slightly but he stays where he is, breathing Jun’s scent in.

The second kiss is similar to the first they had shared many days ago —Jun presses his lips softly against the corner of Changmin’s— except that it is Changmin that demands more and pushes Jun back, inside the flat. Changmin is quickly breathless as his tongue follows Jun’s. He has to clutch tightly at Jun’s shirt with each step they take after Jun has slid both their jackets until they fall onto the couch, Jun pulling Changmin down on top of him, their legs entangled.

Jun pushes at Changmin’s shoulders, breaking the kiss.

‘Is this ok?’

For a second, he looks so vulnerable lying beneath Changmin, so breathtaking with his cheeks flushed and his lips red and wet from kissing that Changmin can’t seem to care anymore; doesn’t want to remember what troubled him so much earlier.

Changmin smiles sincerely to Jun, probably for the first time, and Jun’s look of surprise takes him aback. If he hadn’t just seen the man brimming with confidence when he had given his address in the taxi, he would think that he is the one corrupting Jun. Except no one is corrupting anyone.

Changmin kisses Jun and that does the trick because Jun’s hand pushes their hips together as he thrusts into Changmin, his moan muffled into Jun’s mouth. Jun’s other hand slips underneath Changmin’s shirt, his fingers slowly sliding up his back and Changmin closes his eyes and his hips buck into Jun’s.

Changmin breaks the kiss and lets his head fall into the nook of Jun’s neck, inhaling deeply. He doesn’t know what to do with his hands but this is already too much so he simply rests them next to Jun, framing his head.

The friction created by Jun’s hip movement against him is delicious. His breath is hot against Jun’s neck when Jun switches their position. Changmin is now lying beneath him as Jun hovers a few inches above, his weight on his knees on both side of Changmin.

He kisses Changmin softly again and Changmin is going to protest over the lack of contact but Jun’s hand sneaks down. Changmin stops breathing when Jun’s hand is under his trousers, under his underwear, slowly caressing him with his fingertips.

Changmin whines into the kiss, his hands in Jun’s hair, pulling him closer, and he feels Jun’s mouth stretch into a smile but he doesn’t go quicker and Changmin can’t control his hips that cant up in search of pressure. When Jun finally grasps his cock, Changmin can’t help but bite Jun’s lower lip and then Jun moves up and down and, even though Jun’s movement are restrained by the fabric and it’s awkward because of their height difference, Changmin gives up, lets himself go.

His head falls back against the couch and his hands slide down Jun’s neck, his fingers intertwining themselves behind Jun’s nape. Jun follows him and rests his forehead against Changmin’s.

Jun’s movements are firmer and his mouth trails down Changmin’s mouth to his ear and suddenly Changmin feels Jun panting, hot breath against his ear and he comes soundlessly, Jun’s hand moving up and down his cock a few more times to ease him through.

Changmin’s hands fall from his neck to rest on Jun’s back. Jun drops a small kiss on Changmin’s nose before he reaches for the tissues that are on the coffee table. He cleans his hands and Changmin up. Then Jun tries to get up but Changmin’s hands firmly push him back down.

‘I have to go throw them.’

‘Just leave them next to the couch,’ Changmin mumbles, his eye-lids heavy.


But Changmin brings his knee up to Jun’s groin interrupting any discussion. Jun looks down at him and Changmin thinks he probably looks ridiculous, half-asleep, red, and soaked with sweat, but Jun seems to like what he sees and he carefully puts the tissues down on the floor.

He presses their bodies together. Changmin’s body is mellow and Jun is warm against him so he lets Jun rock against him impatiently, never finding a regular rhythm, until Changmin feels him stop and tense.

Jun’s lips are on his again for a few seconds before he relaxes on top of him. Jun’s weight is comforting, his breathing lulling Changmin into sleep, but Jun only stays that way for a few seconds before he gets up and wanders somewhere Changmin can’t see, though not before taking the tissues off the floor.

Changmin rolls into his side, drawing his knees up. He is dozing off when a blanket is carefully placed on top of him.

‘I’ll be in my room if you need me.’

Changmin can’t be bothered to reply though he would like to say that he doesn’t know where the room is anyway and wasn’t he supposed to have the bed?

‘You can have it if you get up.’

Maybe he said that last part aloud. Never mind. He is warm and comfortable and getting up would make his brain start thinking.

‘’m fine.’

He feels fingers against his hair and falls asleep.

On to part 2.

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October 2012

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